Twice now I have decided not to do a thing that I ought to do because it was inconvenient, but in the end I ended up doing the right thing despite what I decided. I wonder if that says something about me or if I am slowly building up to what I have decided in my mind despite the fact that I know in my heart what must be done. It really does seem like thinking something firmly and even deciding it does not mean any finality at all. Sorta sad, yet hopefull.
Another note is regarding pain medication and how it has no effect on me and nurses have commented on my high threshold for pain. Maybe, I do not even acknowledge small pains and aches and so am not even mindful of them, and when it comes to a thing I feel asprin does nothing anyway. Maybe that is also why labor didn't seem to warrant any drug or why I ran great distances. I remember my whole cross-country team taking pain killers before races but, I never honestly believed they would make a difference anyhow.
Then, I noticed other people must react to things introduced to their bodies cause in the glucose tests the nurses mention things I might feel when drinking the sugar, and it seemed so unlikely and almost funny, sort of like what I considered a myth of kids having a sugar high after candy.
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