huge dump

Only kept from the truth because we know not where to look for it.

Like the sculpture of David, that existed within the marble, we are working to find what exists amidst us already, and in particular we are molding our youth or the rising generation.

We need to give children an identity and a purpose. 

Identify next covenant and work towards understanding it fully.

Encourage family history and temple attendance.

Prepare the youth to serve a mission in your home. It is a prophetic priority! Ask the children to promise to serve a mission.

Limit screen time. The church pleads, and thus our Savior does.

     1) tech free zones

     2) model proper use

Things we would not do, but it is only a game, or allow it tod9stract us from thongs that would have value.

Does it invite or impede?

Enlarge or diminish capacity to serve?

Like our walk to the temple, and it was hard to listen to what seemed contrary to what we saw, this guy noted the important message because it came from the surgeon General, but more importantly he noted that it was an apostlistic message that whether or not it seemed important, it is.

"No phone at the dinner table."

A sister taught that if you know this law, then we have to obey it, but perhaps we are not ready to give this message to them cause you need to choose the right.

Intentional parenting....responsibility to sculpt our youth.

plant candy in hopes that it bears fruit of more candy.

Thinking about music, like people and actually we like it to sound beautiful, but in retrospect, in comparison to a person... I want to be beautiful in that I do not want to be noticed, and I do not like to notice how beautiful the singing is, I want it to not even be noticed.

Produce people who are already missionaries before they serve.

He asked his disciples to come watch with him. I think that the Lord was always with God until that moment, and he asked that he not have to endure it, and he wanted his friends with him, when he needed to be alone. The comfort we get did not come from his friends or his Heavenly Father, but still he prayed even more earnestly, then an Angel came and was there to comfort him.

if every person would do one simple little thing, it would make a huge difference.

by small and simple things.

it was suggested that we ask how people would like to be helped or contacted! I really like that.

pray make sure you do that.

sometimes people will not even ask though they need help. at different times people need more help.

just going around the room reading scriptures is soooo beneficial. and seems a more proper way to study a topic, then ask others to speak about each scripture selected by topic.

the Lord has placed us because he knows us and our abilities, so no need to be something we are not.

feed my sheep

how home teaching is a great way to step out of our comfort zone and assist others.

invitation causes the others to act.

quickly share things, act similarly as we would our neighbor if their house was on fire.

love replaces feelings of anger at rejection... imagine how the savior feels when we reject his atonement.

Learn by study and! by faith.

color by number or mosaic we do not know what we are contributing at the time. this is just to explain how by small and simple means things happen.

often, we do not get our answers as we are praying, but it is as we get up and act, things are orchestrated as such.

we find our identity in being children of God, not work, school or even family. Finding that identity is a reason to come to church.

until he discovered the book of Mormon was true he would not serve a 2 year mission, but he knows it is true. -Elder Jones in Booneville, Mississippi

-From notes taken in 2023 not sure what though.

morning thought

I have decided advertisements, though, not conducive in producing a suitable thriving environment, are an equal trade off to the stress and bad influence experienced through working a "Job" outside the home. Analogous with chosing to walk indoors when I have several very nice outdoor options.

I laughed at AL'S last attitude to pin down what to advertise successfully to me. I wonder how my demographic information could be so wrong that I would get so many i appropriate ads. And then it occurred to me that even in person Doctors who had charts of information and personal interviews were consistantly, but similarly wrong.  At one point. I even called my.mother to intervene, to no avail, it had been undeniably determined that I was depressed... but, even though my son was wrongfully harmed by the prescription, it was prescribed, because qui Bono? Well, maybe ask who suffers?

I also recall 2 other major misdiagnosises.

One was not hastily determined either. I have submitted and taken a 4hour blood glucose test that proved that I was diabetic,  though when.I went to the nutritionist she looked at me and my documented menu, and flatly told me that I was absolutely not diabetic, and ought to continue with my regular diet kniwing that I simply had a higher fasting glucose level, but my body had no trouble with it, infact it thrived on it. Whereas most would read the data and determine glucose insensitivity or something, she told me it was more likely I was malnourished and ought not restrict my diet in any way.

In high school, my physician was examining me for a physical and he expressed a concern. He said that with exercise, the stress placed on my body caused troubling readings, for instance I seemed to have a heart murmur but it was only evident after work. So, he signed me off with a caveat that I not do any prolonged activity like distance running l. But, he felt pretty sure I would not be able to do that on my diet anyway. Funny thing. I ended up becoming and all-state cross-country runner my first season. I not only did compete but scored in the top 15 at state cchampionships. But, he was only expressing a concern because what he saw was contrary to the standard norm, but I believe the human body adapts to what is expected of it regardless what is given, and so just with the given information I am an outlier, and the way I have been profiled it humorous to me because it is so inaccurate, but ought to be expected. Afterall, the point of targeted advertisement is not to be spot on, but appeal to the average or largest number of recipients,  so it makes sense that the ads I am sent are off.

morning thoughts

So, just as I began typing another thought jumped into focus pushing all I had planned to type out of my mind completely. Wait. I remember I was going to talk about the first day back to school, and how I am more nervous for the kids than they are. Makes me think of great and terrible being the same from different view points.

I am going to severely miss having Joseph around. Both he and Brooksie feel like they are so much of me... the notion I have is that they were born so that I might have true friends. I still think ever so highly of Lena. She is a rarest for of perfection, almost incomprehensible a bit like Mary in that they seem to perfect for this world. Turns out I am not going to make a post this morning, but consider long and hard the new notion that just entered my thoughts.

But, I did want to mention how idiotic my fitness journey was. My latest data proved that I may exercise if I want to, but it has no effect upon the scale, whereas peeing of wearing jeans does... also, the last advice I was given (proving how unintelligent the advice is) was to stop smoking and drinking alcohol entirely if I really want to lose weight. Duh! I neither smoke or drink alcohol anyway, never have, and my scale says I need to lose weight. I feel healthy and doubt losing weight of any k8nd would help my health in any way.

morning conclusion

I am going to need to gain weight to get my prayers answered of being healthy. I have been given a gift, a tremendous one that I really ought to be wiser than to fritter it a way in chasing the fleeting standard of beauty tatted by the world. If I truly trust in God that means that I believe that he hears, truly hears and understands, my pleadings. I have been warned that I will be heard and answered but that those answers will not seem correct. But, with eternal perspective I understand what to do for my body and it involves giving up on chasing the notion planted by my peers. That never was or will be the true beauty that I hold the potential for. Though, Physical health is significant, it is not the measure of a successful body. 

Life is going to be good today!

morning thought

Losing weight is out of the question for me. Perhaps it is the BMI thingy was designed for little people because my readings were all above average or excellent, except for my body weight it is calculated to be high, but, just mu muscle weight is over my desired weight, and the more I work out the lower my fat weight goes and the higher my muscle weight. But, according to  typical calculations, my body fat is dangerously low and so is my subcutaneous fat, still my BMI is "Overweight" though, I do not look or feel overweight. And my calculated age is 53, well, I am still 51 (for about 2 months). But I look much younger than absolutely everyone my age. In fact, just this past week, it was debated when I was declared the oldest person present. Even my siblings have gray hair, but I'm the 2nd oldest. Anyhow, should I stop the strength training? My BMR was estimated to be 1725 calories, so, basically, if I ate that many calories per day ( which I don't) and did not exercise at all I would use every calorie, and I do. I only gain weight when I eat more, out of curiosity not craving or anything. But, consistantly not getting enough energy but forcing my body to work raised my level of cortisol sky high, couple that with not being able to get good sleep (more than about 4 hours) for over 20 years, it is amazing that my body has been able to survive and still be healthy. 

In the hospital, the doctors would tell me that a healthy body gains weight. So, as I increased my health, and did truly feel better, I gained weight. To the point where now, I am overweight... and I don't know what to do. 

Maybe my scale is completely wrong, and it is not muscle but fat and water, but, I do tests on myself and find rules and principles that if adhered to produced exact output. 

1) though I have been told that a brain uses keytones,  I even took exogenous keytones and saw no discernible result.

2) I believed that fasting would force my body to use fat stores for energy, but after 5 days of no food, none of the mentioned results followed and I watched tons of videos. I only have noticed with my new scale that my weight fluctuates between 5lb s of water weight throughout the day, so fasting depleted my water surplus weight, but eventually I gain it back, I thought I was loosing fat or muscle, but currently, I am over 50% water weight, so it makes sense that fasting would cause weight loss.

3) I have been made to believe that people are vastly unhealthy and they need to loose weight to achieve health. I suspect that a I already am healthy and loosing weight would only be the result of me trying to fit a societal standard of appearance because I do not look like an average physically fit person.

morning thought

All along, I have been quantifying my success wrong. I have been waiting to be smaller, and lose weight. But, it has taken me a great deal of time to realize that to more I exercise is directly related to the weight I gain. However, through comparitive unbaised measurements, I realized that (after my huge realization that I was flooded with cortisol) although my body is overweight, it is healthy, and the only factor that are high are water weight and muscle tone making my calcuted (incorrectly, I suspect) bmr is extremely high and my report recommends i gain some fat and try to at least meet my body's metabolic needs.

I have been going by the fact that our health is more driven by what we eat than what stress we put our bodies through. And frankly, it has become nearly impossible to stress out my muscles. They keep growing and adapting. I have significantly more muscle body weight than my husband. And this morning the only thing that gained (causing cumulative weight gain) weight was my fat free body weight which reads well above my desired weight. Thos is what is causing me to ponder this morning. In college, when I was much slimmer, I still weighed over 140lbs. That was about 40 years ago. I needto keep moving, but must stop listening to what others are or do. My weight does not matter, I am healthy by all accounts only I want to be smaller. Honestly, I ought to be a better example to others that despite what the world teaches beauty is, true beauty does not come from external measurements but inner peace.

morning thought

There is so much said regarding temple symbolism. Well, isn't language symbolism, so all the symbols in the temples are messages (that was a random side thought). Our bodies are temples, that is quite well accepted and understood. I was telling my daughter that she believed something, and she was saying it was preposterous because she doesn't even know what she believes yet. But, I was trying to show her, like Sherlock Holmes, or all geometry actually, we can know the unknown through the known, and by what I know, I can extrapolate other things. It was spoken by a church authority once about how we do not get to pick and choose programs and doctrines that they ascribe to. It is like dominoes, because she had just born her testimony about prophets, I knew what she believed about identity because she is not a hypocrite and in the proclamation on the family (Signed by and created by prophets), I digress... my thought was that our bodies are temples and they are full of symbolism. I just saw a video where a person was listing symbols found in our bodies and then with a few assertions explained that that alone was a testimony of creation over evolution, and I liked that thought, so I let it flourish in my thoughts.