People are looking for something, so they end up eatting. it is a good metaohor actually. I get hungry alot of the time, but not for food, but for adventure or awe. I wonder why that is. all I know that it is a common enough thing as to make it a constant reminder to us that we have apetites that need to be tempered. I have always thought it was that we needed to bridle our wants to appreciate getting them fufilled, makes sense. But, why have them at all? I think it has something to do with agency.
I cannot explain how much I need something. probably just pain killer, but I need something to fill mymind besides the antics of crazy children.
Friday, March 9, 2012
escaping?
Escape is an interesting word. Try figuring out what you are trying to escape and how. I realized that word fits for entertainment for me. When I get tired of my life i like to imagine for a while and a book, movie, or song help me do that. like sleeping or getting drunk or high for others, a way to escape. I feel like watching a movie right about now.
Thursday, March 8, 2012
this ought to be my singular concern right now
There are alot of things I need to improve on, but the biggest one is that I do not feel things that others do, that causes me trouble.I feel things and quite strongly, I do not doubt my ability to know things through impression, that reasonably, I could not know; however, there are many times that people say that they fell something that I don't and I know that I ought to.
I believe the Holy Ghost is a personage of spirit and part of the godhead, If he is present, I really ought to know it andbe able to know it. I have always felt a close bond with this "personage" Even now I know that he thinks that bodies are so much more important than any of us realize and he "hungers" uh, not really the right word, but it comes the closest. How could that be true? A spirit doesn't know hunger, but wait, that bring me to another thought. If it is true that man needs food to survive and the Holy Ghost testifies of truth, then wouldn't he have to know something about this? Something tells me, even now, that he does, we all did. It is simple to understand that we all know that we want something and know a lot about it without every owning it. i had learned before that this was the difference between empathy and compassion or Sympathy, better put.
I had thought a lot about light ans feel like I've got a pretty god grasp on it, and now I am thinking about water, I think it is closely related to spirit. Once I thought of what it would be like to be without a body, and form, a ghost sort of, and instantly I thought of water, not to drink it. But how "fluid" it was yet, it still had detectable mass.
Detection. That's what really gets to me. What is it that I'm not detecting. Being honest, I just don't but I fully believe that others do.
I believe the Holy Ghost is a personage of spirit and part of the godhead, If he is present, I really ought to know it andbe able to know it. I have always felt a close bond with this "personage" Even now I know that he thinks that bodies are so much more important than any of us realize and he "hungers" uh, not really the right word, but it comes the closest. How could that be true? A spirit doesn't know hunger, but wait, that bring me to another thought. If it is true that man needs food to survive and the Holy Ghost testifies of truth, then wouldn't he have to know something about this? Something tells me, even now, that he does, we all did. It is simple to understand that we all know that we want something and know a lot about it without every owning it. i had learned before that this was the difference between empathy and compassion or Sympathy, better put.
I had thought a lot about light ans feel like I've got a pretty god grasp on it, and now I am thinking about water, I think it is closely related to spirit. Once I thought of what it would be like to be without a body, and form, a ghost sort of, and instantly I thought of water, not to drink it. But how "fluid" it was yet, it still had detectable mass.
Detection. That's what really gets to me. What is it that I'm not detecting. Being honest, I just don't but I fully believe that others do.
It's all about justification, huh?
I think Nick is highly perceptive, but I do not understand hoe he constantly fails to notice things or misinterprate things I do and say. I think it ought to be clear that I have a serious issue, but nothing, I have never even tried to understand him, he does all kinds of things that I just don't get, like thinking something will upset me and doing it purposely, then apologizing when I didn't care anyway. Oh well. I always feel better expunging crap here, though I don't believe it will ever be read, someday, when the aliens come and find my blog and seek to have it interpretted, They will be able to understand a few things about our culture. Speaking of culture I have been troubled lately about the Romans. What? Well, mostly it is how we regard them as so brilliant and yet, they embraced gods as a reality that we see as totally foolish, and then others try to extrapolaate that to think that finally we will be regarded as foolish to worship our God, but to me that is not correct. they were so brilliant to realize that some things were caused by a god and the only way to understand was to create a great story that would be reasonable and withstand scrutiny. I, too believe that there is a Father in Heaven who created us, at a conference once in Huntsville, AL, at the space center, someone explained dinasaur fossils to me (Everyone who knows me well knows of that obsession that followed me for years) I started watching "Bones" infact because I was amazed at how muchothers could determine from bones, I don't think the bones tell us how they looked. for instance, during my obsession with Paleontology, it was discovered(for certain?) that Dinasaurs actually held their tails up for ballance, instead of dragging them behind.
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Saturday, March 3, 2012
lesson fodder
incase i ever am asked to give a lesson or talk on this subject. I thought it a good idea to jot this mental work down:
It is interesting to me that Oeople are assigned to be our friends. This bothers me and it did all of the way back to when I was in a student ward in provo and i was called to be the compassionate service yahdahyada, and after I gave a long spiel about how I felt impressed after reading my duties in the handbook, I was curtly told that none of that was necessary. My duty was to notice the people in our ward who were not in attendance and visit them and find out why and perhaps keep a record of this. I agreed because I saw the merit in seeing abscence as a red flag especially if attendance was actually desired, and noticing a recurring pattern would allow for better detection of a problem that could really help people, but instead it was turned to being just nosey. Then in Auburn, WA at a singles ward I was asked by the bishopric to sit by and make friends with certain people. Did they think I was an idiot? I knew they just didn't want me to sit alone. I'm just not a very social person, especially so on command. Then my attendance at activities wasn't very good, so they called me to be the activities chairperson, urgh! I just do not like being forced into friendship.
As a young woman, I was told to be extra careful who I made friends with because we tend to marry our friends. My Stake president, at a youth conference, already sealed my fate when he, with no prior notice, announced that I would now bear my testimony as to how I would only date members of the church. But, what brings this all up is the sort of connection between arranged marriage and compelled friendship...
Now, to my real topic, Visiting Teachers. What is a visiting teacher. Well, we all might have our own personal definition based on our own experiences, but my favorite VT's were most of all friends. But, looking at the title, what is it? The subject or noun is a teacher, not a visiting friend, but visiting TEACHER. This made me realize that friendship just naturally develops as one learns more, which happens when they visit with you.
I instantly think of Jesus because to me visiting sounds like nomadic, and well teacher means rabbi or vice versa...
It is interesting to me that Oeople are assigned to be our friends. This bothers me and it did all of the way back to when I was in a student ward in provo and i was called to be the compassionate service yahdahyada, and after I gave a long spiel about how I felt impressed after reading my duties in the handbook, I was curtly told that none of that was necessary. My duty was to notice the people in our ward who were not in attendance and visit them and find out why and perhaps keep a record of this. I agreed because I saw the merit in seeing abscence as a red flag especially if attendance was actually desired, and noticing a recurring pattern would allow for better detection of a problem that could really help people, but instead it was turned to being just nosey. Then in Auburn, WA at a singles ward I was asked by the bishopric to sit by and make friends with certain people. Did they think I was an idiot? I knew they just didn't want me to sit alone. I'm just not a very social person, especially so on command. Then my attendance at activities wasn't very good, so they called me to be the activities chairperson, urgh! I just do not like being forced into friendship.
As a young woman, I was told to be extra careful who I made friends with because we tend to marry our friends. My Stake president, at a youth conference, already sealed my fate when he, with no prior notice, announced that I would now bear my testimony as to how I would only date members of the church. But, what brings this all up is the sort of connection between arranged marriage and compelled friendship...
Now, to my real topic, Visiting Teachers. What is a visiting teacher. Well, we all might have our own personal definition based on our own experiences, but my favorite VT's were most of all friends. But, looking at the title, what is it? The subject or noun is a teacher, not a visiting friend, but visiting TEACHER. This made me realize that friendship just naturally develops as one learns more, which happens when they visit with you.
I instantly think of Jesus because to me visiting sounds like nomadic, and well teacher means rabbi or vice versa...
Southern accent
I do not have one at all, but I never thought that I had one at all, and onetime at "Subway" in WA someone asked me where I was from. I was perplexed, and said, "uh, Michigan, I guess." then they said that I had a southern drawl. Weird.
But then when I heard my sister on the radio, I thought she sounded like such a hick. And when I heard Brandall and my Kids on the phone from TN, I couldn't believe that I hadn't even noticed the accent. I always focused so much on not saying "Yous guyses" or other things that Michiganders say. all of my vowels were way too flat.
I studied diction in Mississippi, and had a german professor from Arkansas, so, I suppose to me, that was the base. My best friend who claims Memphis and Sheffield/florence was really born in Texarkana, Arkansas. I used to tease her about sharing a birthplace with Bill Clinton. lol
Seriously though, I wondered at the differences in English and wondered how it happened. I mean we had alot of french influence being so close to Quebec, but it was nothing like La. Creole influence, strangely enough.
I decided that southern language was just the least evolved of the Old World speech. Cause I did Brandall's geneology and it was mostly aristocracy and such. Opposed to my assumptions after living in GA which was a penal colony, TN and much of the south was aristocratic plantation owners, who came to America to use the Land and crops for easy profit, hence communication wasn't something they needed to replace. But with the internet it is finally fading, but I still think it was an aristocratic thing, and the speakers need not be ashamed or think of it as a scar or branding of stupidity. then again, maybe that is exactly what they hope to do.
Mississippi is so different than the was it is portrayed intentionally. It is done to frighten the outsiders away.
But then when I heard my sister on the radio, I thought she sounded like such a hick. And when I heard Brandall and my Kids on the phone from TN, I couldn't believe that I hadn't even noticed the accent. I always focused so much on not saying "Yous guyses" or other things that Michiganders say. all of my vowels were way too flat.
I studied diction in Mississippi, and had a german professor from Arkansas, so, I suppose to me, that was the base. My best friend who claims Memphis and Sheffield/florence was really born in Texarkana, Arkansas. I used to tease her about sharing a birthplace with Bill Clinton. lol
Seriously though, I wondered at the differences in English and wondered how it happened. I mean we had alot of french influence being so close to Quebec, but it was nothing like La. Creole influence, strangely enough.
I decided that southern language was just the least evolved of the Old World speech. Cause I did Brandall's geneology and it was mostly aristocracy and such. Opposed to my assumptions after living in GA which was a penal colony, TN and much of the south was aristocratic plantation owners, who came to America to use the Land and crops for easy profit, hence communication wasn't something they needed to replace. But with the internet it is finally fading, but I still think it was an aristocratic thing, and the speakers need not be ashamed or think of it as a scar or branding of stupidity. then again, maybe that is exactly what they hope to do.
Mississippi is so different than the was it is portrayed intentionally. It is done to frighten the outsiders away.
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