morning thought

All along, I have been quantifying my success wrong. I have been waiting to be smaller, and lose weight. But, it has taken me a great deal of time to realize that to more I exercise is directly related to the weight I gain. However, through comparitive unbaised measurements, I realized that (after my huge realization that I was flooded with cortisol) although my body is overweight, it is healthy, and the only factor that are high are water weight and muscle tone making my calcuted (incorrectly, I suspect) bmr is extremely high and my report recommends i gain some fat and try to at least meet my body's metabolic needs.

I have been going by the fact that our health is more driven by what we eat than what stress we put our bodies through. And frankly, it has become nearly impossible to stress out my muscles. They keep growing and adapting. I have significantly more muscle body weight than my husband. And this morning the only thing that gained (causing cumulative weight gain) weight was my fat free body weight which reads well above my desired weight. Thos is what is causing me to ponder this morning. In college, when I was much slimmer, I still weighed over 140lbs. That was about 40 years ago. I needto keep moving, but must stop listening to what others are or do. My weight does not matter, I am healthy by all accounts only I want to be smaller. Honestly, I ought to be a better example to others that despite what the world teaches beauty is, true beauty does not come from external measurements but inner peace.