How to deal with unreal expectations

There is only one way to deal with an unreal expectation, do not have it in the first place.


Now on to the improper, uncertified way to deal with such an expectation, based on experience.



I loved this movie because My best friend and I had determined that we would end up dying old maids, So we decided to do something about it, by making a list of impossible charachteristics. It made us feel better because we knew what we wanted, it just so happened that such a person did not exsist. Though, I took it a bit more seriously and came close before figuring out that such a man would be considered Gay and I had my share of that mess. I only learned that my preferences were found on earth somewhere, I just needed to make some exceptions and take some risks or I'd never get the reward. I met my first husband and realized that he didn't fit a few key point on my list, but I thought maybe it wa those points that were causing trouble, oh heck, realistically, I fell smack dab in love and didn't care. I admire my freind for sticking to her list regardless.

When I ended up divorced I figured tha it was time to make a new list and stick to it, but my heart sank into a deep depression when I realized that again my list must go. One thing I do know though is that to find what I was looking for I had to be in the right places. Sort of like if you put on your list "Plays piano well." then you have to at least go to concerts or recitals or be a pianist yourself, or you would have just created an impossible list because it was impossible.

I saw a great video once about how you need to be careful who you attract. but this provides a whole lot of information:


Even hidden dangers might be lurking so it is better to not attract them, or in my case, the wrong husnband. But, as I stated, I do not have a way to pull happiness out of a hat but I have learned that it is better to remain true to your expectation, no matter how unrealistic it seems, if happiness is your goal, that is.

Getting to be it's own trend

I have enitire blogs devoted to ideas that will be "fleshed out."at a latter date.

Once again, I have a thing to say, and I fully intend to say it here, but this is just a marker, or a sort of flirt with the notion. I want to make a cooment about how different my perceptions/expectations change with regards to what I watch, I really feel like that is how popular opinionsare molded,mine are formed by media. I suspect that is the same for everyone. Sometimes I feel just likeeveryoneeslse in that I followalot of those unspoken rules, then othertimes, I think I must have fallen "out of the box"or broke some unspoken rule again, And feelthat I could be just like everyoneelse if I just didit all over and made an effort to follow rules. I like to think that same thing whenever I die on a mario game. i only lost because I wasn't giving it my all. I Could do it if I really tried, and so I try again.

Joke

I heard this joke in my class, today:

"Well, Nick, you're just a good carpenter."

I was intrigued. A new way he was Christ-like?

"You see a good carpenter knows it is best to build a protection for his tools."

So, you think you know me fairly well? You only know what I care to make known.I'm aware of my public image and chances are you don't know me at all. I just make up a lot of thoughts and feelings for public display, you want sincerity? Go watch Lifetime, you're not gonna' get it here.

I need an umbrella

All of my words came raining on me in a torrential downpour it seems, I decided to use my own advice, and althouh it terrifies me, it also delights me. I suppose I am well enough now to see things more clearly, and a clear vision was the thing I lacked and it made me so dependant on others, I am ready to stand, and I do not have a clear path, yeah, I probably got that phrase in my head from playing final fantasy, it has been an obsession of mine for a long time and whenever I step far enough out in front of my life to see it in hindsight, I start remembering my love of the game and it successfully sucks in my time. uurrrgh!

Todays main thought was thatI have not been the coward that I feared that I was. When I was expecting Joseph, I was 2 things 1) confused and frced to make a decision and 2)completely without options as far as healthcare or insurance, but I just prayed and figured that God would work things out, and he did. I wanted to see my children so badly, it is nearly impossible to explain in words how I longed to see them. So, instead of freaking out because my mother said that I ought not come back home, because it wouldn't set the right example for them. I had only one option left pray for them to somehow be with me again, and everything worked out! They are with me twice each month and I have two more children. My hardest lesson has been to learn patience. It is true that I am overly anxious. the word relax means to loosen upto allow more perspective and as my perspective is enlarged things are less complicated, and hardships fade away. Commonly, this -- I cannot concentrate until this song is over...

I have been wisely encouraged to keep eternal perspective, right now that word "keep" stands out. being aware of things on an eternal scale is not hard, but when they conflict with immediate things or desires, keeping that perspective becomes a real chore. getting isn't the trouble. I can see just as so many "mortals" love to say things like "carpe diem" or make bucket lists, as they supposedly would do differently when faced with eternal consequences sooner. I wrote a story in college about people coming to anothe world to see how they would behave differently if their actions had suspended consequences.

One character thought it would be to his advantage because he loved this woman and believed that he would have a chance of somehow wining her affection if he could bend the rules a little, which could be done without immediate consequences.

Oh! I just got another story idea, of how the internet and social media is being used in desperation to sort through folk and find a particular someone. It could be kinda like the Screwtape letters continued. But the idea in that Book of Mormon video about Martin Harris and how no man can thwart the plan of God because his scheme was already accounted for. In my story, things will be accounted for in a way that is not understood presently by the heroine/hero who is not at all what they were and love, making them seem unrecognizeable to those who might search, but, what hardship is suffered temporarily for a better purpose long term. I have been thinking this thought a lot lately, all of our trials and misfortunes only seem such. Hence, eternal perpective must be achieved to really gain Peace of mind.

So much is unfolding to me today! it is the dawning of a new life, one that is so much more understanding and hopeful.

I feel like that girl who prayed in the movie 17 miracles. I do not know how things will work out and I really have some serious needs right now, but I also think of what Adele Joseph said about moving here, If God wanted her here, he would prepare a situation for her when she can't do anything more. I really can't do anything more except believe and know that things will work out. Haven't I seen enough of that to know it?

Ok, that was enough of my little outpour of words. Time to go sleep/dream.

the big secret

this one has taken a long time comming, but I have not ever stopped thinking on it. The big secret that I'm referring to is the one that others who find it value it and those who don't have it eith ought to or do seek it. I am referring to the thing that makes unity possible between individuals. It is not love or sex or money, but a purpose that causes the feeling of being needed. Yesterday was my anniversary, which went totally unnoticced by my husband, combined with other things I would say, that's just the way he is. But, I also realized that is not going to cut it. It dawneed on me that I do feel appreciated, which many people would mistake for love. Let me share a clip that brought that notion home for me: What I don't have the time to say, but it plagues my thoughts is a notion that I'm a truly grateful for the things that Nicholas has done to help me, but that I amnot at all important to him, he has made it obvious time and again,and I need that in my life. I remember Brandall saying to Maria in an e-mail (he told me about) where he asked how things were going with her husband. He thought it strange that two latter-day saints could be together and if they really needed each other then they would want to be sealed. I do not love Nick, and to make things easier he does nothing to try to win any affection in fact he does the opposit, it is no suprise that I have been so full of hate towards him, that has been no secret. I even had the children in a futal attempt to make him care for me. I feellike it was a game of chess and none of my moves worked, I am doomed to failure, but keep insisting on some sort of last minute luck. urrrrg! Mary needs my attention.

failure