They're Everywhere

I was going to write this earlier this morning, but now the idea has solidified and I must write it.

I used to mistake silence for ignorance. I was always looking for brilliant people because they would understand me and that would make me find that awesome feeling of being at home, so I left home and then I realized that brilliance is everywhere. Going home is not a place or a distant sparkling shore that I dreamed of, nor is it any place one can pilgrimage to unless it is a pilgrimage of the mind.

Break through

You know how in a cloudy sky there is a moment when the sun shines reminding you that the storm is temporary, passing by, but sunshine is inevitable.

Here is a token Stargate Atlantis reference for those who relate accordingly. There is an episode where there is a storm so large it covers most of the planet, but when doom seems evident, in the city McKay realizes that Lightening is the very power source they needed to provide energy so needed by the city, but there is an eye of this storm which is sort of a break through. This is the sort of thing we all experience and I feel so now.

I realized that it does not even matter if I was right or wrong, it applies to everything because it is that big, but actually it does not cause me to act in this particular realm. I still will allow myself to be hopeful but it is wonderful to know that if one thing does not happen, or one person does not chose of his own accord I can still be justly rewarded for my life choices.

Remember this

As we were visiting teaching, I learned a lot more than I taught. I supposed that is how it is supposed to be.

Sudvmaa said that she wanted to serve a mission as a couple because of all of the good that older couples did in Mongolia. In particular she said how much good Desert Industries did.

I want to record the story about an Orphan girl who joined the church and accordingly got a great job and eventually years later discovered a dying infant and nursed it back to health and adopted. Eventually, the child grew to be the ancestor of an entire congregation. So, she explained how just one person can do the best missionary work by just being a good person.

Note to self

Buy a yellow dress.

Brain dump

Missionary open house explained fully and

well. Pointed out how those who speak will be blessed most.

Ukrainianian colors explained.

Pointed out how the savior likely has,favorite scriptures, like the ones that must be repeated verbatim, often.

Thought he liked bik riding until he Had to do it regularly. Likened it to how we need regular sacrament to be in proper functioning. Like a bike we get grimey from usual wear and tear.

If you rest during sacrament you are not disturbing others and might be getting info from on high, might be... Dallin H. Oaks.

Sacrament is the most important meeting that we attend on Sunday.

Here we take for granted that we feel the spirit so strongly, but other places you can feel the difference.

Missionary work -
You will bring salvation to your own soul if you do missionary work.

God's children, we have done our duty.

It has always,been part of their church since Lord organized the church.

A man next to him in high counsel was tattooed... Usually we are scared.

Lord's way is not as frightening as the World's way.

Some people have made bad choices, and it is them who might be most receptive...most interesting. Next we talked about Paul. He did terrible thongs, but later chose to suffered himself.

If you cannot bear testimony of anything start talking about the restoration and Joseph Smith.

More preisthoodholders in Iraq etc. Then the time of Daniel.

So many international businesses have owners that are returned missionaries.

Lady who had her father in a coma when she got her call. She read her call to her father, he did not wake up on anything, and she for a moment considered not going, but he died when she went to the MTC, and she knew it was right place at the right time.

Answered questions for a would be priest.

Sometimes, we just can pray, if we cannot help. Smile maybe.

People want to be visited. Many people were raised LDS but married a non member they need the gospel.

Wishes Stake missionary were Home teaching companions.

1) show how happy we are in the church as an example.

2)by being friendly.

3)explain to others and friends.

4) we can request missionaries in an area visit them.

5)in our families, teach our children.

6)contribute to missionary fund.

7)Help support our missionaries.

8) family history and temple work

9) invite nonmembers

10) share church magazines and internet sites.

Relief Society

Temple trip 8:30 at 9:30

Sept 15th at 10 in RS room. Institute

Wednesday 11. Gardening dehydrating, and yogurt. Canning all the rules are different.

Mission companion was struck by a car. Could use prayers.

Storm came and went so fast. Obedience brings blessings got kids inside before storm.

Go home and watch on the Lord's Errand.

Ask parents about him being mission president.

***Truth is,not given unless he keeps his commandments.****

Object lesson each commandment is a popsicle stick, individually one could be broken.

29 If thou lovest me thou shalt serve me and keep all my commandments.

At 8 were not permitted to have matches.

Reminds me of the time I tried to pop corn but was not allowed to use the stove or microwave. So I put in a paper bag and lit it on fire, and threw it in sink.and tried to extinguish the curtains quickly, maybe no one would know.

Important to obey rules they are intended for purposes that may ellude us.

It is easy to always obey but she doesn't.do it properly. Like little children who want to help.

Somethings that our children obey things that others say when they think that we are stupid.

Story of a woman's story of Grandfather who was at a friend's house when father came home drunk and could contrast that with when he went home and his own father came home and he said, even if the church isn't true, it makes you happier. His father said, "Yes, and it is true."

So, About Lot's Wife...

Lot's wife - Story

The story goes that she literally looked back and was turned into salt. But, there is so much more to think about and twist.

First, looking back can be problematic, which turning into salt represents figuratively, it is a mineral and not alive. Quite often, as we get older and have more to remember we find we spend more and more time remembering and less time discovering, which we would be really good at as we age because with age comes wisdom, and there are far less worries. The trouble for me in particular is that my memory sort of erases anything unpleasant and recalls are sort of cleaned up edited version, like most histories. I think that is why they are both called and make such good stories. So, obviously, time spent remembering consumes so much more of my time which does not allow me any time to consider the incredible potential the future holds.

**This paragraph is me waxing philosophical, and not likely to be understood or appreciated by most** While I was seriously contemplating things and praying them out in the temple, I was not thinking of the past. For a duration of time, I was filled with new ideas and dare I say "Dreams" of the future. Sure, right now is not pleasant, but it likely never was. when under the proper influences, I realized not only that Heavenly Father, my father, wanted me to be happy. As I have known and considered that many many times, but further, he does not want me to fill my mind with the past, but to look to what could be, even though unlikely, it makes me happy to know it has not been realized or decided yet. I have a chance, and there lies hope. I felt so happy, and was not bombarded with memories until I left that time and place.

Second, Salt, really? It makes me wonder a larger role, I wonder if a wandering beast about to die will stumble on a pillar of salt in a barren wasteland and be glad. Also, there are so many other scriptures about Salt where it is a good thing and the church members are likened to it. Interesting. I will continue thinking privately on this one.

New schedule

It is always expected, if not welcomed. Even our time measurement changes bianually. It is rough on everyone to have to adjust to a new schedule, but I am happy, and things will be so much better once the kids adjust.

Pros: we all get to bed earlier. Nick Isn't blarring his game while I try to keep the kids from disturbing. He comes home and sleeps pretty much all day which includes lunch which I really want to do away with anyway.

Cons: The kids get back up at 1 am and start making usual demands. I just found a schedule that worked and gave me some free time to use as I pleased, and lastly, I had a menu and shopping pattern established.

Why I cannot sleep tonight

It is foolishness, pure nonsense, and yet I feel that "what if" more strongly than other "should"s. Like I should be sleeping, etc.

It is like being in a three way competition where first ans second place are announced and when they do not announce you as second place, you get scared. Although it means you could win, it dfinitely means you did not win second place.the chances for failure increase directly with the greatness of the win.

So, I cannot just fall asleep because I fear I'll potentially have a life changing thought, and though dreams are fun, solid ideas form when we are awake.

Brain dump

Not her plan at all to serve mission, but it molded the life that she has now.

Nothing is impossible if we are obedient.

Knows she is a daughter of God from looking at the star

Alma 26:12

Determination not discouragement. I honestly feel like I could not be discouraged even if I was openly told that my efforts were futile, so maybe that is evidence of faith.

Every missionary might be the answer to some prayer

Most success comes from hearing and obeying revelation.

Often we hear but do not exactly understand/comprehend what the message is.

We have been spending our moral capital has gone as obviously as our financial capital.

***Temple provides the peace promised in our lives!!

Our lives are free of worldly stain in the temple? The peace and answer we get there are more pure?

The older you get the more emotional things seem.

Tithes

1/10th has always been done. Ancient days and modern days.
Consecration was attempted and it failed.

Higher law given first then something easier is given. Tithing is for the weakest of saints.

You pay your tithing in faith not money.

You cannot fail by paying too much.

Net or gross blessings.

Story about not having money and still paying tithing.

But if not...

The blessings you get from paying tithing cannot even be explained.

To become like God we must be willing and happily give others.

Tithing money. Pays for things.

RS -
Unity-example of trailing sheep up the mountain. It is a big job if they get off track.

The saints gave a lot with no thought of what the earth or place they moved could give.

Helping others that will eventually be part of ourselves.

We might not be able to do something great, but we may be part of something great...so unity.

We can only be instruments in God's hands if we are united.

Family that prays together stays together.

Unity tends to need alot of discussions. To come to an agreement.requires a whole lot of communication.

Nothing is done until a unified decision is made.

Important to learn that their is unity in your family.

What if one particular person constantly was resisting the unification. Love the Hell out of them.

Children are what we tell them they are.

If you think of negative things you will not think of the positive. Two masters. And if you are thinking negative things that is not having the spirit.

Unity is only achieved by each doing their part, it will be work. Never speak ill of our spouse in front of our children...

This disrespect for a member of the family can hurt unity or respect of church leadership, etc.

Family traditions bind us together.

Neighborhoods and communities need to be unified.

Quick thought

It makes,me laugh and think about Army Commercials, but "Be all that you can be". Is such a good motto. The idea was that one I sort of tweaked out of a TV show where a man read a final saying, "This is not the end, but a new beginning. Do not seek your brothers they will find you." It painted a new life where my dearest companions and loved ones would wait and greet me, like on that book/movie "What Dreams May Come." So, it stands to reason that this life waa the beginging, ok, and the end of some existance. And I do want to improve myself, but I still want to be me, and whatever "I" am will be only better, but still recognized by those whom I always love and loved. I do not need to make myself someone who is more pleasing to someone else. Be all that you can be... Uh, I will close with an applicable Barbie Song: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBoaOnj6Ll4

Typical wifely woes

I am going to return to just baking/cooking for myself and children because I am tired of throwing food away.

I am obviously not cooking for myself and I feed the kids, but unless I make a plate and deliver it to my husband he will not eat anything and complains when I only make things for myself.

I want to have meals as,a family that is expected, which requires a willing family. My husband says that he doesn't eat out, but our allotment of food money is used up somehow and it is not the things that I buy and then throw away.

I have heard other women complain of such things but it still did not prepare me to expect it because I just expected a certain type of life which I think I could achieve, but like the meal situation, I do not want to try. I would think that such a common courtesy would be communicated, and that is what U value above all else, and have never even found anyone with a elementary or basic skill in communication.

So many frustrations would be avoided with communication, like the scenario where the wife prepares a wonderful meal to suprise her husband who never comes home due to a meeting. She gets upset and he argues that it was all done for her and the kids anyway. Maybe so, but he could have picked up the phone and explained that much when he asked or told his wife that he would not be home.

Clothes make the man

Si, creo que todos deban vestirse en ropa de este tipo. Pero, me da igual.

Brain dump

What is your greatest goal as a woman?

We draw strength from our identity.

We make lists because we can do things and mark them as done, but being something is eternal, not something to check off.

Serve someone vs. Be a serving person.

Attend the temple together often.

Focus on what the other is doing right.

She wanted to go to the temple, but didn't get to go and was sad, but finally got to go.

Tried to memorize the temple words and repeat them in mind when needed.

Went regularly to the temple and put a daughter's name on the prayer roll and it made a difference.

Show love often.

Book of Mormon is the word of God because he Truly is our Father in Heaven and would continue to speak to his children.

(Just as we would want to leave a legacy for our children he left words for us.)

Strongest testimony ever when he bore his testimony of Joseph Smith.

I had to destroy his journal because it might be used against,him.

Difference between integrity vs. Honesty.

Where as integrity is speaking up when you know something, prompting, but honesty you can never lie.

Can you be honest with others but not  with your self.

Integrity is character trait.

Lieing
Stealing
Cheating

No intention to lie, but sometimes pass on something that is not true.

Any communication with the intent to deceive.

Bear false witness is a lie.

We lie to avoid the responsibility.

Stealing is taking without asking. Taking more than is ours.

In Japan honor to your family.

There are God's law. Then we have to obey the law of the land. Someone is accountable.

Malachi scripture, Taxes and roving God

cheat we get more than we deserve.

To be a creator, we must be honest like him.

To the Lord there are no acceptable dishonesties.

Become honest in all we do and say. (Required to pass temple reccommend interview).

Honesty is what we are looking for, we want others to give to us.

We need to show our children what we are made of.

If I am going to live upmy blessing then I must be honest with myself.

Faith proceeds the miracle.

RS_-----------------------------
Wednesday 6:30 No nursery. Call presidency if needed.

Lesson 15 a huge pep talk for serving others.

Lorenzo went to Italy. He didn't say woo hop, but He probably saw it when things did not go the way he intended.

It is good to make plans, but sometimes God has other things in mind... Like his journey, he ended up in Malta building a foundation for Missionary work there, it was a sort of melting pot.

We serve as embassadors of Christ!

Like we get excited about a cool tip,like on pintrest we ought to be Thay excited to share our tips about how to live,

Sharing the gospel is the greatest, most helpful thing you could share, do it enthusiastically.

We are accountable for how we use our talents and abilities to build up his kingdom.

All the world should be blessed through Abraham. "That in him all might be blessed."

We still have that Same God and Priesthood and can live and do as he asks.

(I am just as excited because If I do believe that I will be blessed as my Pat. Blessing promises. I do believe that I can have what I desire because I desire good things.)

Go, Fight, Win  of Lorenzo the Lord strengthens us let's us do anything.

Do not be like reluctant child who obeys but makes a gesture, that they do not want to.

We need to be happy to go and do.

Not lukewarm in attending our duties.

Think of Nephi when he goes to Jerusalem to go and do what was ever asked though it seemed unlikely.

The apostles never thought they would be able to perform his duty just the same on an other way.

(Will I be resonsibile for the loss of so many others because I was placing my children above that. That strengthens my resolve)

Different callings at different times, no one but Heavenly Father could have known that.

Our church gets to serve others. (I am impressed at how service oriented everyone here is) we are blessed because we help where we see a need.

Story about her VT comming over and bringing a meal, it seemed little and insignificant at the time. She was apologizing all of the time for mistakes that were irevelant.

Lessons de Oso

I learned a lesson that is so priceless while watching an educational program with my children. He, the special agent OSO, (I hope Joseph learns that he can be a hero by helping his friends even when they never ask) is doing something a bit self oriented task and fails horribly but he always says "It's all part of the plan" and he goes to help someone else. Never fail, in learning how to help someone else, he masters a skill that sort of dawn's on him that the skill is the same one that will help him achieve his own task. There is more to it, but mostly, I learned that through helping others we not only put our trial in perspective, but manage to develop skills that will help us, which is part of the plan.

The next thing is that I am pretty sure Lena used to watch it. It made an impression on me how she always said check after completing a task.

Relax verbally

Too often, I must curb my comments to who might stumble upon them one day and believe it or not it has shaped who and how I appear.

I want to speak freely, something I have only done with God. Though I have not been dishonest in my thoughts and feelings, I have been cautiously selective of how I record or present them.

Joseph said something and I thought what a profound and great lesson in that. Then, I suddenly felt like my nature to understand more than is actually said, is one I have seen before.

I am impressed at how significant humility and compassion are to building a great character.

I am still doing it! I wonder if I do not have the ability to speak my mind.

Ok, maybe I cannot use sentances to convey my feelings, they loose a lot in translation. So, I will instead make a list.

1)I need something, seriously need it, like a drug. But, do not know what it is.
2)I want a piano.
3)I want to start running.
4)I want to be appreciated and wanted.
5)I want to be beautiful.

Can I keep a secret? I am.

The ultimate answer

I was here minding my business, thinking about how Rodney McKay (Stargate Atlantis) told his little story about Archimedes getting his big answer while in the bath tub. He explained his reason for talking about it was that it was a pattern to use in solving his current life threatening issue. John Shepherd responded by saying that as much as he wanted to help with his problem, he would not bathe with him. The pattern was that it was in taking a bath that he was able to relax and free his mind from contemplating the issue that the answer was found.

Also, Lena found a little tree frog at my mother's house and played with it in the pool, by making it the captain of a ship (an inflatable raft thingy) she named it (or so I thought from having just watched an episode of Eureka) Archemedes. Later, I found out she was saying "Arrrr Mateys" oh well.

The real point is that there is a big question that I have been asking myself for years now, "which is better can or will?" I was feeling tonight like I had better answer it soon or just stop asking. A few times I thought that I clearly knew. In Sunday School the teacher handed out a paper that had steps of commitment and the absolute lowest step was could. Meaning you could do what was required but did not.

I get myself confused thinking about it, so I assigned two people to it. One who was asked to do something and did not even try but it was possible if he would, and another who would if he could, but it,was not possible. Both required time but which would prove the better choice to hope for? I stopped trying to think of an answer because I had more pressing matters to consider than to play a silly mind game with myself. That was when my conclusion, after over 4years of contemplation, came.

This big conclusion was that in my proposed scenario it was an easy answer. The better choice regardless of anything else was whoever I wanted to wait on. The decision of which is better did not rely as much on the ability or willingness of another, but on the willingness of myself which boils down to love. So, to answer which is better can or will, it is either. It is like that saying on the wall of my physical therapist, "If you think you can or you think you can't you're right."

I had read something much more eloquently put on another blog where the person decided that ultimately, relationships are established to cause a benefit not because of benefits. Like I said, it was much more eloquent, but that is my interpretation.

Brain dump

Know that Joseph Smith is a prophet because read the book of Mormon.

Not primary president anymore, but there is something out there for her.

As you get older you are more appreciative of the gospel, especially, the leaders, as to how,much work they put in.

If I fell down, you would pick me up.

Pray for the patriarch. It isn't him that is

There are experiences that young women go through that cannot be recreated.

Had own personal moments like the sacred grove.

If you read the book of Mormon with teal intent your life must change.

Our journey is our destination.parts of hike are easy like life and when it gets difficult there will be stepping stones.
Different parts of life that our talents are suited for.

Interesting that she doubted there were actually such a thing as a snipe until a Youth "Leader"actually found one.

Power of Everyday missionaries Christiansen a book to read. Points shared:

1) Don't have to be a friend
2) Success is inviting.

So impressed that a friend would take the time to share something so important.

Moroni 7:45 scripture to define charity.

And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.

Selfishness is the opposite of Charity. To get the full spectrum.

The closest we have of Charity is how we feel towards our own children.

Story about a man who is going to be a pastor, he acted like a homeless guy, to meet the people and just greet them.

Scripture where we must be willing to serve others and clothe them, etc.

The world needs more disciples of Christ.

The Love which caused our God to sacrifice for us is Charity. It must be the most important virtue.

Story of good Samaritan:
Https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DJG8vuuB-OA

The story where they did a hidden camera of it.

People who passed by should have.by their label, stopped but didn't. We all know people who should do something, but they do not.

When you are very angry and you are trying to be molded by the Lord, it hurts more if you are not malleable.

1 study life of Christ
2 pray to have greater charity
3 learn to love ourselves
4 avoid thinking we are better than others.

RS Watch and Learn -

Teacher prefaced that her marriage was in no way perfect.

5 principles that set an example:

1) regarded their marriage as priceless

Did not have others to rely on, so needed to rely on eachother to work things out.

In our world it is usual to just give up and throw it away.

"I am at the end of my troubles." Said the bride to her mother. The mother said, "yes, but which end."

contract vs. Covenant marraige

2) Christ as the foundation.

FHE, etc. We should seek religion's balm and become more faithful and that should bring them together.

Common religion is important.

3) repentence and humility.

Honest self examinations, but do not stop there but act on improving.

Companionship inventory. When you have another perspective on what you could/should be.

Make sure we are humble enough to accept our weaknesses.

4)completely respectful and Loyal

Financially transparent, not one sided or hidden.

Cooperation not negotiation.

Just talk and spend meaningful time together.

Perhaps spend time together studying and less time on pintrest, etc.

Have Dinner. Put kids to bed together.

Respect brings transparency.

So we do not have any unknown passwords.

Social media is a  serious problem.

5) complete devotion, Fidelity. Any sharing of our heart is not being loyal.

Things to watch out for is any relationship that takes focus away from your family.

We do not give up if things get bad.

When you say negative you must supply a certain number of positive.

Story of a spouse who spoke poorly of a woman when in the presence of others.

If you are always saying and thinking of the negative things you will not love them.

When you speak negatively you may get over it, but they do not. It stays in their mind.

Toothpaste on the mirror. Story. About being annoyed of it. Then after husband died, there was still toothpaste on the mirror.

Look for the positive.

Sometimes our purpose is different than our plan. There are women who never marry.

We have the atonement, we feel like we are stuck sometimes, but we are not, we will be able to find a way to see things through. There are things that we can do. It is not all about us. Being humble enough to see that is a good thing.

Little pieces

I have noticed how usually a person gets a piece of revelation so clearly and they share it, and it is instantly loved. They have such a clear and in depth view of their piece. I have been slightly jealous of this, although I am able to see the sense of each piece, I only appreciate, not contribute.

As a jack of all trades, rather than lamenting the fact that I am master of none, I found a way to shift my perception. My father said that it is good to focus and be a master because when you reach a deeper understanding of a thing, it becomes the glass through which everything may be understood.  The greater complexity you comprehend in your area the more you can appreciate in others. Instead of feeling terrible and just accepting my fate of never mastering anything I realized that I mastered appreciating things.

I get to put the pieces together and make another whole. I am the Master of masterpieces.

record

I keep this record of thoughts/ feelings/ events because I do not have a written one. and just in my lifetime I have observed the fallibility of hand written paper, the advantage of electronic is that, like Dune, it can be many places at once, and travel without moving. It is less likely to be lost or corrupted by moth or rust (meaning the elements), though I also saw on Torchwood Miracle day how a word and all of it's references could be instantly removed, and that is frightening, though less likely.

Nightly rant

I have nothing specific to say to anyone, but me so naturally, I thought, "Facebook Material". As I experience anything regardless of the source the information is interpreted by my brain as evidence for something I cannot speak of, yet. But, it is undeniably true, I know that much, though it does me little to no good to know it.

I just do not have the human ability to chain words together to recreate something. Maybe it is a talent like being photogenic.

I know what I want to say, but nothing moves beyond my brain. It is stored there screaming to get out. It gets so angry that I do not act because it seems any amount of shame or failure would hardly cost the price I would pay forever for not doing anything about my situation.

I can say this much plainly, I was born at this time and brought here for a reason.