I was thinking about how much harder it is to do things I easily did before. I decided that the biggest difference is that little reminder in your brain that tells you what is appropriate and what is not.
Hold on, the kids just emptied my drawers and tried to use them as boats in the bathtub.
Ok, where was I? Got a three year old trying to bite me, winter is so very hard on these rambunctious creatures.
Even when I didn't have that bothersome internal morality cop, I just usually reasoned with myself, and felt bad about doing wrong, but now I have to deal with a huge ton of guilt for bad choices I made unaware. My old self believed in the buy now, pay later type of thing and now I am indebted to myself for things only I can forgive, but I don't.
I am glad that I didn't do anything really bad, but what would qualify as really bad? I dare say, I made pretty much the worst mistakes one can make, but others forgave me, that ought to be a hint. At one point a psychologist decided either I was a really good liar or a sociopath. There were things that could have been said to get,me to fess up to things, and I sort of wished he had with mistakes it is always best to just rip off the bandaid and deal with the consequences then. It is like my father-in-law said how you should never suspend punishment until dad gets home, or chances are the consequence will not be equal to the punishment nor will it be effective in teaching reform.
There are things that I simply will not allow myself to bargin about, and things that reasonably ought to be easy are hard again. But, why won't my "censor"let me answer the phone?
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