Change

I am not referring to an Exchange of paper money,
"Hey Mister, you got change?"( via UHF) sort of thing, oh I coulda woulda shoulda said "Here's your Nickel back.
Now you got change!" but, my quest is to change my subconscious perception of who I am and what I am capable of. I want it to include being genuinely loved. I have felt it before so I know what I am looking for. I could so easily say too much, but I feel like taking the time to write it will help do it. By it, I mean change.

I wonder what it would feel like to just be.

I know, I know. I already am, but, I am in progress, I would like to arrive. Growing up others often commented on my potential, I was a very hopeful child, but I start to feel like a wandering Israelite. When will I ever be. It feels like I will forever be aiming but never achieving. Maybe I listened to the song "I Can't Grow" by Michael Mclean too much.