What I learned and what was taught often varies a great deal, maybe it is because we see what we want to. I was happy when others tried to help beautiful me, but they at first made me feel horrible, like I was seen as someone to be pitied. Ends up my confidence soared as they were able to fix me up. But, now, I am hitting something akin to a sugar low after a brief high. I realized naturally, I was beautiful and now with age, if I used the new techniques, I could remain beautiful, but it sort of goes against my whole person who avoided appearing different than was natural. Also, they work to allow me to be beautiful, and I appreciate it, but it takes too much time. I cannot maintain it, and the younger me was prettier than any of the person they create, and so I feel it is absolutely not worth it.
I just stare in the mirror and want to be loved for who I am not how I look. That is how I fall in love, too.
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