Befuddled

I have a heavy heart today, and feel like I ought to be blogging cause today feels significant, but outside of just vibes, or hunches, I really do not have anything at all to be concerned about.

So, what do I say? I am in need of divine intervention I feel like my life is a big game show. They are easier to play from the comfort of an easy chair than in the stressful situation in the spotlight. Do I risk a greater thing to get what I want, the only real discovery I have made so far is indenitifying what I want. It is possible getting what seems to be of more worth, at the cost of what is greatest worth. So do I just take what Ive got and make it work and admit I really do not even know that it will not end up being what I need.

I wrote all of this early today, before bed is when I always feel so clearly why I am unhappy and really ought to do something about it. Waiting for things has not done any good. Anything good that I have is because I acted out of want, trusting things might not, I took a risk. But, I keep reviewing in my head a point that really hit home, " I just don't believe in a God that would expect you to remain unrepentant and just deal with it because of one bad choice, admitedly made at a inoportune time. That sounds like another plan altogether... "