It's about structure

The thing that seems to go against creativity is actually what I can cling to. It is not my lack of ability that stops me from composing, even the desire is there. My desire does not lead me to writing.

 I like writing because I note the structure. It is the forms that allow me to create such great and acceptable masterpieces. In college, I always cheated by changing the given to fit what I wanted, and a professor was nice enough to teach me a lesson about how Music theory was more about learning the rules than breaking them. Even before I took any classes I was astounded when I took form and analysis that I had instinctively been writing in forms all along cause it sounded right.

Probably my biggest hero was J.S. Bach, who story goes, he was forbidden to have music and a piano, so he took music to his attic and by candlelight copied music in secret. I believe it was in this dutiful, uninspiring act that he learned the "rules" of harmony that we all are sort of forced to learn in order to create good music.

In college, my dad had a friend who took it all very literally and wrote a computer program that used all of the "rules" we learn about writing harmonic music (from Bach chorales). His program "composed" pieces that were perfect as far as the rules go, but lacked that something that truly great pieces have.

I was impressionable and so, I figured that to write the great songs I had to be open to inspiration and not be limited by the rules. I wonder if I ought to include my next thought, because the credit goes to "Pinky Dinky Doo" and I hate admitting how much I learn from those types of silly programs, but the episode was about how she and her brother questioned rules, but in the end they discovered that rules or laws were not just arbitrary (sp?) but actually had a purpose. I loved it , face it, we give a lot of commands to our children and do not tell them why.

What we do not explain is that it is to protect them, and as little children, it is enough to obey maybe because of the retribution we receive if we do not obey (punishment) but, sooner or later every child will grow up and have questions so they need to feel or know that the laws will actually protect them. I learned today that the rules and structure allow me a realm for my creativity, and frankly, it needs a place and direction now, that will save me, in a sense.

Addendum: Tonight Joseph tried to break a law. I made it clear that we do not get to pick and choose which laws we obey and littering is a crime. Ok. I'm a hypocrite, but I don't litter and tell my kids that downloading wii games and Pokemon movies that we do not buy is not acceptable and is considered stealing (even if to me it seems foolish, I heard a song in the grocery store that said it best "It's all been done")