memory buttons

I watched Indiana Jones and the Ceystal Skull the other day. Initialy, I was not too fond of it, but, for some reason there was a line that pushed one of my buttons. I remember very few things, I am not sure but perhap my brain was damaged and it doesn't make connections as quickly. but there was a line where Marianne says to Indy that she is sure that there have been many others since her, and he admits that there have been, but there was always the same trouble. which lead her to inquire what that trouble was. This scene would not have been of much interest to me at the time, I admit it. But then he said simply, that none of them were her.

This was paying over and over in my head this evening as I went about my duties, until a button was pushed and this response was triggered. My response was an understanding. I understood that I was not a bad person and that there was no "Problem" to tell me about though I said that I didn't need one and was still looking for it, Only now dI really "get it." and simply do not need a reason for my failed attempts. it is due to my nature to only accept perfection as the goal, it does not allow me to settle with less, which is more than others and I realize that and I ought to be happy with the life that I have here to for lived, but I am not happy with mediocrity in any form be it higher than normal anyway.

So, I have had my intentions totally misunderstood, and had to assume the part of the "bad guy" but I have never been the bad guy just one who feel short of my intentions and tried to adjust.