Does this blow your mind?

When I was very young, I used to sense something which I was certain must be an invisible watcher. We had a terrifying fireside in our house on 40 Washington Street in Sandusky, MI. Where I learned that demons were not just myths used to scare children. But, I never considered anything beyond time travelers from the future were always observing me for some reason. Then, I saw that StarTrek movie, I think it is called "Generations" where Data's head becomes visible. That triggered a thought of my "watchers" and it solidified my importance historically, I figured that was what happened with Brandall, maybe with him I would not become what I would or maybe he was used to stop me, etc. Anyway, this was not a healthy imagination, but something that I believed fully. No joking around I believed that someone was watching me though I had no evidence.

Then I saw Fringe with the watchers, and figured that the feeling of being observed must be pretty common to the point that a popular tv could talk about it and expect a following.

I rarely used the telephone because I believed that it was tapped, Ofcourse, so what? Besides, I could use this to my advantage. Now, I use misinformation to mislead and misdirect, sorta like. Jedi saying "These are not the droids that you are looking for." While waving my hand In front of the screen.

Ha ha!

I actually got upset in college thinking that I was old enough to know my future, wouldn't I be trusted enough to know, So, instead I decided to create a story of my own, then use situation to prove it false, which it should be,because my story was too fantastic to be belived, yet, it was supported and always could be true, and still, much later and much different with a life full of experience, my story still remains plausible, though my life is hardly typical, still something must shout out that it was all false.

So far, nothing has,been proved true either, unless the small moments when a word, not a story, or a notion totally immobilized. Still, I have imagined something happening, that if it were true it just seems like I would know.

Here is a similitude of how it feels, in a way even those who are sane can understand: in a contest or pageant, there is only one winner, and though all present might deserve or believe that they could win, when they gather to the award ceremony and wait to hear the winner announced everyone looks around wondering who would it be, would it be obvious to tell beforehand somehow.

To me it seems that if someone is obviously deserving of wining, then they would know, like "challenges" for top placement in band.

Or in a beauty pageant, no one knows what attributes will be favored by those responsibile for judging, and that is exactly how I feel. C.S.Lewis wrote about my thoughts in a book "The Great Divorce" where those who died were suprised at who ended up in Heaven. It seemed that the qualifications were not what they had supposed, still it was most curious that those who felt worthy were extremely uncomfortable in the place called Heaven that they visited and wanted to go home where they belonged.

I want to share a story that I heard yesterday. A taxi driver and a high couselor had died and met St. Peter met them at the "pearly gates"and he asked them to.follow him to the place prepared for them. They followed to a beautiful mansion and he told the taxi driver that was his home. Then he continued on with the high counselor to an old shack. The man cried, but this isn't fair, I don't understand. I have been a servant of the Lord all of my days. Then Peter asked, but how did you serve? He explained that he gave numerous talks to buoy up the saints. Peter explain, yes you did. But, as you spoke most people slept whereas when the taxi driver drove everyone stayed awake.

It is a joke Ofcourse.

Brain dump

Joke about taxi driver and high counselor.

Story of son who slashed tires, father went and wrote the check for tires, a good story about the atonement.

Sanctified? Necessary to receive exaultation.

Gospel changes human nature...bad men good, and good men better... David O'Mkay

Story about doughnuts and pushups again. People were not taking doughnuts but pushups that were hard, and had to be done regardless.

Savior is the one who personally guards the gate not as a duty, but because he wants to personally welcome people come in. *I think of what I always think in the temple when we sort of enter into the Celestial Kingdom.*

Priesthood has 3 responsibilities.
1)

Jesus' name was used to invoke blessings, but it did not work because no authority.

It is given by those who have authority. It cannot be given any other way. Must be unanimously voted on, line of authority always goes to Jesus... When you change a calling it changes you...

How is it used.

Priesthood authority presides.

Example of stake authority taking a moment to correct that No agency is free.

The priesthood is a companion of the Holy Ghost.

Promises

Sadly, I have tried to remember, but for some reason I an un aware of the promises that I have made. I intend to keep them, but have absolutely no further intention, the fact that I am not aware of what.I promised anyway already troubles me. If you are not capable of promises, do not make them. It is like Baptism. You must be taught and interviewed. Such a commitment is not to be made half-heartedly, it is why we wait until we are accountable instead of birth when the person's own agency is their parent's.

I found it!

I honestly believe in this, too.

I have no idea what I was going to write here. This sentence makes it longer. In conclusion, I conclude.

Brain dump

Hebrews were departing from Christianity and returning to Jewish faith.

First principle is Faith: find a definition in chapter 11.

substituted assurance of things not seen. The thing is true.

Witness after trial of faith.

Story about a man who proved there was factual but it could not save him because it was not acted upon. He drank the pathogen that was in the water.

Words vs. Life experiences, stories provide a meaning that words alone do not.

Definition continued... Belief in a promise, trust.

A promise is sure... Through it we can believe there is a God.

David Bednar 1) Assurance 2) Action 3) Evidence...Seeking knowledge by Faith.

We can have belief but not have faith.

Faith seems like a tricky word to try to use.

Things are made of things which are not seen. Duh.

Is it easier to be faithful as a child because you do not know anything, and must believe, or do the things we are taught solidify as we get older and we see more of the things that we have been taught.

The Savior told a lady to stop smoking and he would help, but that if she didn't do, then it would be horrible and nearly impossible to quit.

Examples of faith are given from people that they knew.

Uses a foundation that they already had.

The three steps we all can follow and we have those stories readily in our lives.

So many examples a "cloud of witnesses". It is better when witnesses are found everywhere.

*Faith is a FIRST principle so every story is a witness of it.*

The importance of patience and perserverence.

Our trials require two entirely different corrections. Either repentance or endurance.

Chasten seems hard, it reminds me.of a story where the kids would get upset about a Wii game that said "you are a master of this DISCIPLINE" they do not like that word.

Journalist was asked how we know the point where the metal has been refined enough. He explained that you do not just leave it a wait till the timer goes of, but must watch it, until you can see your reflection in it.

Hebrews 12:29 children can memorize this scripture

Quote 8) teach more than their words say, about how we need to be in a place and must be refined to allow Such.

Sacrament is higher than blood scarafices. The temple teaches a lot about that, somethings are in different "kingdoms" and require things to be done which might represent the.consequences of our refinement

Written by whom? It says Timothy, but last week our teacher said Paul. Hmmm...

Marriage is a good thing. It is adultery that is not.

Brain dump

If you are not disabled then what is your excuse for not doing what you have decided?

We need to have responsibility for consequences.

We fail it almost always has to do with selfishness.

Primary -
We learned that people FEEL a way, then, to change it, we must DO, then we FEEL better. Almost any story works, but we used the standard things to do and found that to be happy, like our stake mission or the gospel (goodness) teaches.

RS story of Ether. She had others fast, too. For such a time as this... We have a mission individually and we have to be in the right place at the right time.

Obedience is key to our purpose. The more obedient we are the more blessed we are.

"The lord uses the unlikely to do things that are impossible." Jeffery Holland.

*Ester didn't have to even say anything and she would'be been fine. *

We are all supposed to be here how can we prepare:

1) read Patriarch Blessing a lot. Explained story about how when she got it when she was young.

2) go to the temple a lot!

3) ask HF. He wants us to know.

Our struggles are what we need to develop, and be refined instead of being burnt to a crisp.

We ought to believe that we were hand picked to be here and the Lord knows that we are here and will help us.

This life is to make us more like our heavenly parents.

*We did not come to earth to gain our worth, but we always have it. *

Story about how she felt inclined to put a name in the temple. But, she was right there to help that situation, and was allowed to because she listened to the spirit, though it made no sense.

*If the person who was supposed to teach me had done so, I would have been a member of the church long ago*

First principle of the gospel is not faith it is Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.

Only one name that can help or produce any hope in us.

Faith is active and leads to good works. Priciple of action in all intelligence.

Must be consistant in the little things.

* We need to turn our desire to do into the exhiliration of doing.

Not shrinking is far more important that surviving. Neal A. Maxwell

Testimony how we are able to do what we do.

Enough.

I am done. I am not going to be meek about it anymore. I pittied,myself too long always hiding behind a pretense of an optimistic view, but I'll have to toss that southern belle facade aside.

I am far less prettier than I wanted to be, and have achieved much less than my potential indicated, but Nothing that makes me desirable has been lost.

I do not need to cower behind what could have been to the point that I do not become. I will be as beautiful and talented as I ever was, and the fact that I was ought not be denied. I am a bit ugly, but that doesn't matter to my kids, nor does it to anyone else who matters.

Being completely honest about it will be the only thing that saves me. I did feel like I Married well below myself, but I thought it was only temporary, I would find someone and they would raise with me. They say the definition of crazy is to do the same thing over and over and expect something to change. I have been running full steam into a wall. It hurts, but I regroup and try again. But, nothing changes no matter how much I believe it can or will, smash!

Another concept is that you never should marry someone with the intent to change them. But, he wanted to.change and our vision for him was the same.

The real point is that I was not thinking brilliant thoughts when I,married him and so many things which ought to have occurred to me didn't, and I was completely alone trying to figure out what to do.

When doing legal things I had to have others sign for me because I didn't know what I was doing. And now, I have children who rely on me, and I put them first, but right now, I honestly do not even like my husband infact he is repugnant to me. It is not because he isn't attractive physically. That doesn't matter, it is who he is and what he does that troubles,me so much.

But, it is not as an example, it is for my children, for now I keep their life intact, though the feeling is building up in me that it is a bad example to pretend to be in love when I am not. I like to hope that I will love him, for their sake. Or else I make a continual error. First, I should not have ever had those children. But, I do have them and I must keep my responsibility regarding them. Even if it means I loose all hope of happiness.

By happiness, I am referring to the way C.S.Lewis described feeling in shadowlands. At one point he said, "I do not want to be anywhere else." Happiness is leaving the Shadowlands and basking in the sun, though experience is teaching, I do not always pay attention. And I will not cause pain and eternal suffering because I wanted to be happy. I Love my children entirely!

The things left unsaid

Life is a school that uses a topic at a time though various teachers. Right now the subject seems focused on all of the things we never actually say, though we mean them.

I was half hearing the TV, and I heard someone say, "I get too nervous and I cannot say all of the things that I want to say." The response was, "then sing it." So began my quest to think of all the other ways we tell people things indirectly, and while I was thinking that, I started thinking about so many songs that I listened to and loved that I did not have a clue what they were about and it didn't matter to me. But, music sort of fits it's lyrics now adays so that likely happens less. Plus, so many vigilant parents stand at the ready to keep anything inappropriate out of a child's mind, and someone else deems things appropriate or not by assigning a rating to media so accidentally filling a mind with filth is less likely.

I went to a parenting conference in Tupelo where a keynote speaker talked about  the things that he picked up on as a child that were not spoken. He referred to.a sort of hidden code so that it would appear harmless and mindlessly entertaining to kids, but adults would get the suggested nuiances.

My daughter's were very anxious to watch a movie and as it played I suggested they notice something that they might not have otherwise. They admitted that it was clear to them now, though nothing was ever said. There were hints.

It seems that I miss hints a lot of the time. I am thinking of an.awesome video for the song "Someday" by Nickelback. That explains to those who know me how I have to rewatch things multiple times. After I knew what was happening I saw it there all of the time, and was amazed at how it fit the lyrics, I missed it entirely. A movie I had to rewatch over and over was "The Illusionist." The movie replays things so you can see or how the carachter sees how he was fooled. I always wonder how the actor keeps it all straight in his/her head they know what is, but must play to suggest what is happening now realistically, which means, unaware. The greatest film for this sort of thing is sixth sense. I include anonymous because of flashes through time and inception, for after you know what to notice.

Well, so much for that idea. I tried to write a song thinking, maybe if I can't say it, someone else can sing it for me, but instead it just ended up being a song about not being able to use words to say things!

There are things that we are told in scripture that others were not allowed to say. I thought oh comeon, then don't say anything about it. But, my final thought is that maybe we are not able to say things because they ought never be put into words. I really wish there were no words for a few things like Love. Cause it has become a vain repetition. I wrote a poem in high school about words being stretched to mean so much that now they are like useless old deflated balloons. Well, I never said that, but that imagery was in my mind.

What can I say? My feet are cold!!! The end.

Brain dump

It is debated, but Mormons believe that Paul wrote to Hebrews.

Hebrews is a letter to the Jews.

Talks a lot about the temple and then it was destroyed. Story is listen to your leaders.

Prophets were great because of Jesus.

Paul is a great logical theologian.

1. Jesus is in the image of Eloheim but is a step lower, though higher than even angels.

2. Oil of gladness? Look it up.

Why is it important to know how esteemed in relation to others.

Paul still "sang praises" after all of his trials.

Praises help us remember.

Yom Kippur is celebration of reconciliation.

Savior is the only man who can understand what women endure. I always thought it went the other way...

We like people who have been through similar things.

He was trying to teach the people the significance of Jesus and to leave the law of Moses, by reasoning that Jesus is the reason for it, and is himself the highest priest.

Traveling in the wilderness is a type. It teaches of a people being led, but just not seeing.

What is God's rest? having peace of mind and not swayed by doctrines. Joseph F. Smith.

Things that keep people from that peace include holding grudges, and thinking that we are so wise and understanding greater things.

V 16 boldly we just expect things, sheer faith.

Confessions, how they have examples of doing things with.confidence, we can expect Christ to help us.

Our father would want to help us.

The power of God can heal things. I can request this of my husband. Of that I have no doubt.

One must be called of God to have the priesthood.

Christ sacrificed his life for us, so we have to loose our lives for our children, it is a type, just as we expect things of our kids in return, Jesus expects us. Perfection.

Sons of perdition would crucify Jesus again. And cannot be forgiven... Huh?

Verse 7 chapter 6 is so pretty.

Melchezidek is a type of Jesus.

Aaron represents law of Moses, while Higher priesthood is Jesus.

Only Melchezidek can save (ordinances).

Often when we refer to high priest it is only highest aaronic priesthood, whereas only one High priesthood

A part of the allure of the law of Moses is that it was all commanded what to do where higher law requires thinking.for themselves.

Good things require resillience and patience. Not instant. I think of food and being healthy requires more effort.

Chapter 8 v 10 if it is there is can be remembered. The church saw that minds know the answers but it must be in your heart. Spirit puts things in our heart.

In the temple is a higher law because no one does those ordinances for us, but we do it ourself.

Ann Madsen DVD of Isaiah.

A good story would be a movie about someone who was sacrificing a lamb, it is a proxy, but never said. The story is about the lamb and what giving it up would mean to them. It is to prepare them for sacrifice of Christ.

Chp10 v 10 Then what is the significance of the meal afterward?

Justification and Sanctification talk in 2000.conference maybe.

Be joyful in adversity? Answer in v. 34

Paul understands the Jews and how The savior fulfills.

Darn it!

Ok, so I am not the brightest crayon in the box, but I am determined to figure out a solution.

Right now, I feel like I am getting closer, it was a huge breakthrough, but my mind will flip flop again, probably.

I feel strongly that I am in the right place. Something Rachel used to quote in Seminary just popped into my mind. The single most important thing in any Latter-day Saints life is being in the right place at the right time, with the right person.

My timing is atrocious, and I am married, but only "technically" what I have is not a family, it is a reluctant guy and some bully kids. But I do have the place right. Today, a visitor from the primary presidency explained that the success of her family was dependant on finding a spouse and laying a solid foundation.

So, if my goal is to have all of my family together I cannot achieve that unless either Nick shapes up or I find another husband who will love and cherish me. That is our main struggle and it has always been. Nick talks a good talk, but his actions say otherwise. This is not at all the integrity that I believed that he posessed. He does not nor ever has appreciated me. He would say, "Oh, yes, I do." But, he is full of words but does nothing unless it is for his appearance. He basically tells,me that I am a lousy housekeeper and mother every single day and that is hard to deal with when you are already hard on yourself and trying to recover from a huge massive setback. Oh, blah, blah,blah,blah, blah! That doesn't matter, the point is that something must change. I tried Changing me, and that did not work, and he obviously is not happy with "me"still, he persists for the sake of the kids, but I honestly think it is teaching them the wrong thing. Husbands need to love their wives. That is the kind of foundation they need. And a kiss on the cheek before worl just doesn't demonstrate that you care at all. My kids beat me up and are mean because they see that sort of disrespect as an example. It is much more solidly taught than any words.

Previously, I foolishly compared Nick to Brandall as if it was really one or the other. Every school kid knows not to compare apple's to oranges. They are completely different. Brandall did cherish me and the kids saw it. But, then I got sick and needed him most and he abandoned me. Nick would never do that, at least I know that much. He is dependable.

I read that you should never expect to change someone. But, that is exactly the whole pretense of Marrying Nick, it was provided that he regularly attend church etc. He couldn't even bless our children. He likely will not be able to baptize them either. It really teaches the wrong thing. But, he puts everything they learn on my shoulders. True a woman is supposed to nurture, but that does,not mean that the only one who teaches and nurtures is the mother.

Finally, I am getting sleepy!

Brain. Dump

Preach my gospel is like my best friend.

Companion with the book of Mormon...

On st. Patrick's day, it was illegal to drink.

Usually run things by her husband, to check doctrine.

Information about artist who changed art when his person converted now he made over 300 paintings about life of Savior. Do we even know that many stories of him (introduction to lesson).

We need to do more to show how we have been converted. Most revelation was regarding the Savior. All prophets testify of him.

What about Muhamed?
Arabs believed in God of Abraham, who we believe is Jesus Christ.

Bhuda - was he a true prophet.

All religions had a potion of truth but those truths cannot distract from the main truth.

Moslems believe Jesus was a prophet, but someone said, prophets cannot lie.

Translations must be altered for most viewed scripture in all is John 3:16 Begotten is different. We need to cling to that fact that we are the literal children.

When did Christ know of his divinity?

I used to think about Dune how others marveled and even questioned his prophetic self.

Jesus must have been visited by God.

Think about the significance of the Savior's fasting. Matthew 4:2 JST

LIFE of Savior was about serving others.When we are helping others we are helping the Lord.

When I asked people what was the Lord like and how does it help you, what does it mean. It was the one person who was hated who I befriended, she said, once you repent, you forget.

Personal alert: I have always believed that I was untethered and had to rush to my Savior when he wept in the Garden, and remind him of his purpose and how everyone who ever existed depended on him. Then we read that he was visited by an angel. That was the real reason why I had that Carl Bloch photo on my profile for a long time. The recent RS meeting how we are supposed to use our talents for good.

Jesus went to those in spirit world interim of being ressurected.

What do we do daily to remember Jesus? We pray in his name.

Steps at a time, you are just a step you do your part, but not expect baptisms. We get time to do again. Gospel of 2nd chances.

You do not have anything to say, just say it and your mouth will be filled with the spirit who is wordy.

What we say and what others hear is not always the same thing.

If you do your weakness it will be made strong. I was afraid of the water and of using the phone, so I became a SCUBA diver and did phone support.

Satan wants us to give in, but God is perfect and we wants us to be like him.

But, we will not be given more than we can handle.

We can be perfect in small realms. Like cleaning a house litlle by little.

Abraham was perfectly obedient, but he didn't start out that way. So he had constant trials to see that he would be perfectly obedient, but more for Abraham than for God or even us.

We do not have the same struggles as others, so we should not have to worry about that.

Be positive. And we need to be in a constant reminder.

When we think negative thoughts we are thinking negative about God.

Story about mother who has no hair or breasts anymore, and doesn't feel very beautiful, but that which was beautiful is beautiful still.

We are divine and need to nurture that part in ourselves.

Slow process of our physical bodies is likewise a slow process.

If you do feel "uncheered for" or negative that is Satan's influence, God wants us to be perfect, he gave his only begotten son.

Personal thought: Maybe the fact that I don't get all teary and emotional is a talent, allowing me frequent and strong spiritual outpourings. Others required transfiguration to withstand...

An observation

If you are persistant, what you are doing may be come ridiculous.  I was making the girls practice a song over and over and over and exasperated Brooksie told me that the word Give made her laugh now because they sang it too much and she needed a break. I remember laughing so hard at the table with my family when we were talking about Hawaii 5 O. For some reason the word chin was hilarious and my Brother was trying to share an insightful comment about the character, but we could not stop repeating the name chin until it was a purely rediculous word to us.

I am like an oversaid word for most. It is politely called an acquired taste. The point is I am too something. I have been called too deep, or intense, or even a psycho chick, the point is that I need to be understood and I never give up. It is too much for most to take in.

For instance you say hi and I have a million and one things to say about that which leads me to something else the whole while making sense in my head but not adequately leading anyone else along the way so I appear to have unexpected, sporadic thoughts on Any given topic. Face to face I do much better, because I am naturally an actress and aware of my audience reaction. But, it frustrates me almost more to sense that I am not understood or appreciated because I am not understood.

What I am feeling right now happens periodically when I get sick of myself and I start to become something else to me, like a joke. I hate myself and look for a way to simplify everything and solve it.

When I am going through this stage I start to think that maybe I am like a spider spinning a web but missing the big picture. Maybe I could be like Charlotte or something! And be useful, or maybe nothing matters, and all of my little rules are imagined and I am,pointlessly trapped. Really, what is the worse case anyway? I end up dead what do I fear more than death? Why does my reputation matter so much? Anyway, I'll get some sleep and be fine in the morning... Until next time.

My temporary look

I was thinking how interesting it is that I do not remember what I look like, but I would recognize myself.

That thought amused me for a while then faded into something more substantial. I started thinking about how it doesn't matter if I cannot remember how I look because it is only temporary and superficial anyway. All I did was just snip my bangs, and changed everything. How much is easily changed and what is changed that I have not thought about. I recall a time I was in love with a guy, or thought I was until he got a hair cut, and I freaked out. I didn't like him any more, but it occurred to me like this:I obviously didn't love him if something so temporary mattered to me. Love must be something more than appearance that could so easily be changed. It must be something at a person's core that could not change and that would be as addictive to me. I decided being attractive was not worth falling in love with, but I went too far and I still haven't figured out what doesn't change so now I think it is a matter of finding a composite attractive that you can be involved with it's change.

Brain dump

Prayer by a sister Killpack.
How firm a foundation p. 85

From Words of Paul teach about our firm foundation. Read by Sis. Murphy.

We came here to DO verbs all from Timothy and Titus.

Titus is called a book of Common Sense.

Doctrine of pre existence.

Important things to do in this life not the other things, there is more too, something that only latterday saints know about.

Plural marriage is the sacrifice and monogomy is the blessing. A lady told about her grandmother who was 4th wife of Romney. Most of us would not be here with out it says on lady.

Not quick to anger is the term not a striker.

Note gainsayer. Say things to get gain.

If Satan wants to destroy a family, go after parents. Mothers seeking things foolishly to get worldly success.

Rebuke sharply to avoid false things early on to correct and allow room to repent.

Doing things in order.

It is important to remember our stewardships. Not upward (story about zealous couple) who waited outside the bishops office to correct him.

When you are pure you sense things. You can notice things if pure mind. Mormon Doctrine.

Sense of the Sacred by D. Todd Christopherson.

Strongest retribution are for the hypocrites. So it is very vile to God.

Only teach sound doctrine.

When moved into the ward she called it her starter ward. Older woman taught more by example. You teach more by who you are than what you say. It is a responsibility if you have a stewardship.

Titus 2: how to live and be that Peculiar people.

Story:Behind Iron curtain, there were saints who lived a certain way and set an example. So that a temple could be built. Power of example.

We are peculiar because of the Holy Ghost. I guess that makes us optimistic, that was what I noted was the most peculiar about me vs. other people around me because I almost seemed masochistic.

Titus 3:5 we need sacrement. *I need a better counseling on this scripture as to exactly what is being said.

I seriously want to read more and know more about Paul.

Discussions that become negative we should just bear our testimony and stop because spirit will never be with us.

His 2nd imprisonment in Rome was worse. Leading up to Peter and Paul being put to death.

Influence and importance of our mother's examples and teaching, something that was in them was in Paul 2 Timothy 5 reminds me of the album notes on the Tal Bachman Album.

Paul is an example of being peculiar.

Scripture put argument in our heads to be silent. No longer fear 2Timothy 7.

When we do service to others we receive prayers, by reversing Paul's prayer about those who served him.

More memories flood in... This thought is only to remind me, no one else will benefit the same,but teacher told how even Homeruns do not count if we round 2nd base but don't technically touch it.

If we hit our head constantly it might not be the Lord's will which may be between Good and best.

Number of JST they change the entire meaning of things.

Essential vs Nice to do. If you start with Nice to do we may never get to essential things.

It fascinates me how others learn and benefit by other means, and so the same lessons come by different teachers (over time) to ears that are ready to hear. Or it is interesting how we have apostles who are our preferred ones.

Priesthood was taken from the Earth but church falls when it turns away from the priesthood. Brigham young says.

"We cannot control a bird from landing input hair,but we can control them from making a nest." -E. Roosevelt.

Sacrifice is to make Holy or Sacred. Note greek footnotes.

Itching ears hear what the want to hear and it makes them feel well.

Lady in front of me was whispering about her husband being from Argentina. So what?

Fight a good fight. He could not finish before he did what he was supposed to do. He says that his calling was made sure so LDS believe that he was married.

RS birthday

BISHOP comments:
Talks about his sister, says that she is like his mother.

Years later, he wishes he had been more musical as it is the key to spirituality.

He did not recruit her.

She speaks now. Open Mic night at church.
All ghost stories began,
"and this is really true."

New Era 2008, talk about music's use.

Jumbo Elephant sang with mother, and played piano.

Lived in England and had a good friend both lost mothers at early age.

So she wrote and shared a poem "feelings of Mother" her friend wrote a song for it.

I ought to write the songs for the books that Sis Hirschi gave me.

Our talents no matter what they are are given to us so that we can be instruments or tools in God's hands.

The purpose of writing a wonderful song is so different but sometimes success in the realms matches up.

Such is the case with this one. "I know that my savior loves me."

Songs can go through doors that other words and people cannot.

Worthy music uplifts and helps the spirit help others where it cannot.

We can use worthy music to create a type of atmosphere in our home.

I have heard by so many people how important it was listening to music on the piano that mother played.

Maybe if children want to be like me, I would do Better to set that kind of example than to yell at them.

Degrades yourself when you listen to less than ideal music.

Ask if music invites a sense of peace.

A key to having peace of mind is good music, whatever goes in comes out.

When I criticize myself I am criticizing God.

Everyone is in a totally different place, just love one another.

Look up Tammy Cramer.  Then Boom! It was announced that she was our old RS president's VT. And lived in Layton for a long while.

Things work out

It is something I don't understand but fortunately, I do not need to, I did understand that I had a problem to solve and so I prayed and promised to obey the answer and I did, though I had to do something that I neither understood or agreed with, but I did it despite having my inclinations turned, and you know what? Things worked out, and I expect that as I look back I will see how perfect my action was, and definately not one that I foresaw would cascade into something better. But, I did as I should according to God not man and well, a lot of the time the two do not agree and those who want to obey God end up rediculed for it. But, they say sticks and stones break bones but ridicule never hurt you, it is the same thoughts and feelings that produce them that get you everytime, but I assure you, even then, the good guy always wins and God's plans encompass it all and will work out in the end. I have lots of true stories if you don't trust me.

Random thought

It would not be healthy to be adored cause I can see some serious problems. 1) It would be hard to change. 2) It would feel like you are a lie, and to cope you might create a disassociation of self and the person so admired. 3) It would be hard to see yourself as admirable, no matter who you are. So, I would rather achieve any popular success after I die. But, it is rediculous to think I would ever have to anyway.

At North Georgia College, at an engineering camp there were lots of other camps and we were closely affiliated with the Governors honors kids. Everyone commented how I fit in better with the younger kids. I said it was because they understood greatness,better when they saw it is all. I was joking, but got several secret admirer notes, and I won a leg contest that I didn't even know we were having. I just saw the ROTC ppl running and wanted to run, too.

Bath tub stargate style

Ok, another scene came to mind. It was no revelation to me when Dr. McKay told that best thoughts come in the bath. So John Shepherd jokes back saying that he will not take a bath with him just for inspiration.

It has nothing to do with being naked, but more to do with being relaxed and warm which via o2 rich blood it increases neural activity.

Dreams

I will dream well tonight.

Brain dump

The chairs where ppl giving talks sit are "the seats of (something derogatory)."

Members are all called to share what they know. That opportunity is increased with callings.

People want to do it if you look like you are having fun, likewise you can scare people away by the things you say or do.

Genuinely feel something, glad they wrote it down, we might not notice or take other facets as significant, like Alma wishing to have the voice of an angel.

Church once filled a room and now there are about 13 million members.

Not asked to die a martyrs death but live a disciples life. We are like early saint in our trials, though the actually have difference.

Story of getting direct message from the spirit saved her life, because she had to go to the doctor and found that she had high blood pressure, it seemed impossible, and needed to be remedied to serve a mission.

Suffering caused savior to bleed at every pore was questioned by my English professor who had never heard of this. Remember when I was asked to show scriptural account before making such claims.

Repentance is like soap.

Bucket is like spirit, when dirty object dropped in some splashes out.

Picture of Savior smiling that always looks at you., no matter where you go.

6 months to get to SLC but took less than 20 days to get back on mission to England.

The man told about how children thought church was restrictive, whereas now those who obeyed are happy doing it, but those who sought a grander freedom, aren't happy.

We are free to choose, but not to choose the consequences but which one we will get.

"I don't always write in my journal, but I did last week because of the spirit."

Top secret girl stuff in RS.

Destiny of us others don't know or if they do they think we are crazy.

Most people do not really know who we are.

Made,me think of the words of pres. Uchtdorf in that talk Brandy showed me yesterday.

We are as different spiritually as there is our physical bodies differ, so we shouldn't compare.

We shy away from being the person described in our PB. Because it seems impossible.

Many are satisfied with simply knowing the truth, but we are too close to not reach out and grab it.

It is a feeling of being just about close enough to get it.

3 reactions:
Discouraged
Indifferent
Rejoice
Those are the ways that we can react to the knowledge of our destiny.

I need to pray about it today and find out who I really am and what I want, can I repent of things that I wanted?I honestly thought that I would never regret asking for something.

Garuntee that the way the Lord sees us is totally different than we see ourself.

Brain dump

Changes in scriptures a new 2013 edition.
On LDS.org to print out changes. D&C chapter headings. You can go online to get line of authority.
Point is that it is fortunate and exciting time to be living.

Teacher is particularly fascinated with Ephesus.

Epistle to all. An outline of how to set aside things of the world to partake unity and fellowship of the church. How a true saint takes upon himself the powers of Godliness to withstand powers of evil.
It is strange that the world does not "get" that the Godhead is seperate beings. 2,3,7 9

Mystery? Only understood through revelation and is sacred.
Leads to Temple

v. 10 the only reference to dispensation of the fullness of times in the Bible.

Verse 17 wisdom c.s. lewis on the dispute of grace v works, he says that it is like arguing about which blade of scissors is most important.

Through atonement Jews and gentiles can be one

verse 6. Sit together. chapter 3 heading Just as savior is one with Father, we are joint heirs.

Now we receive revelation and wisdom to understand the mysteries.

Eph 3:17 grounded in love... Reminds me of my experience with Gavin, and my discovery of the purest doctrine of Love.

Unity, and such is the mission of Christ. Greatest commandment.

Greatest endowment to comprehend the things of God.

Chapter 4 -One true church.
Truth is not confusing.

Sure thing - calling and election made sure 4:11-14

Every part of the body must do what duty it is assigned, Jesus is the Head and director. In trouble shooting we can rule out that the trouble is in the direction.

To keep our homes clean we must not allow bad to come in through TV and Computer. In cleaning for spring maybe consider all filth.

Maybe we need to discus how we want to be cherished. It might not be how it is being "administered" by them.

Teaching about how a balance between nurture and admonish. But, I learned a truth directly out of need from a prayer not a scripture.

Gospel changes a servant into a brother.

Lesser laws and greater laws like law of Moses prepares one for receiving something more. What is our gospel preparing us for?

Recipe for making a healthy convert a happy person requires three parts 1) a friend 2) responsibility 3) nourishment . Bible was enriched by the inclusion of Phillipians. -McConkie

" But the Lord, through his grace, appeared to man, gave him the gospel or eternal plan whereby he might rise above the carnal and selfish things of life and obtain spiritual perfection. But he must rise by his own efforts and he must walk by faith." (Conference Report, Apr. 1957, p. 7)" Do not sit and wait for something to happen... But work out your own salvation.

Phillipians 4:13

Story of gentleman who greeted and the importance of each part this lady does not recall her primary or YW presidents, but remembers the greeter.

Epistles of Timothy were called pastoral letters. He left to visit the saints and wrote to Timothy or other Pastors or Bishops of the church.

Fables and endless geneologies...vain jangling. Verse 6

What a bishop must be. Chapter 3 of first Timothy.

Learning of Paul will be finished next week.

For some reason I genuinely love Paul...

We do actually loose

So many thoughts have come and gone, but this one remains as a sort of tickling fear. Why do we work so hard to gain things that cannot ever be truly ours?

My real contemplation is how important it is for every one who ever breathed to enjoy the blessings that come from going to the temple.

The idea started as I contemplated what was of most significance to give my children and why exactly I needed them to be together. I feel a strange urgency that, though I love them all the same, I never felt for the older children. It was confidence that they had been taught and would do what was best, I thought. But, really it stems from the fact that they are sealed to me and the peace that comes from knowing that nothing can really take them from me.

I do worry a great deal about the other children though. I really have no claim on them, I am just a temporary steward. But, it is important to me that they know and do the right things for themselves, and that their time with me will have taught them.some valuable truths. I really fear Nick's influence and it is not good. He is lazy and does not value eternal thing, although he professes to accept, it produces no action. It was wrong of me to sort of force him into marriage as now our children are growing up believing that it us ok to accept the gospel, but not do anything about it. That is central to my fears. Then, it stems out to compassion, no, empathy for every soul that really ever loved another.

Now, I cannot effect everyone, although I can see more of a possibility with manipulation of the internet. Still, if I am living daily with these few and nothing, chances are I will be fruitless elsewhere. I think of two more things that I do not have suffient time to work into a paragraph so I'll include them as bullets:
     1) There have been countless individuals who suspected they made no impact, when, though not marked they effected in a profound way.
     2) The hearts of the children need to be turned to their fathers. I never saw a significance there though I figured that there was one. I focused on each individual and figured that who they married was greater significance than who begat them, but they ought to be.sealed to both.

In college we performed a play "You Can't Take it With You". I was the insignificant drunk actress, but my best friend had a greater role. She was the stage manager. The play taught an audience (if they listened) what is truly valuable stays with us. But, I learned a greater lesson the night we broke into a building and hid in a dark classroom within earshot while they deliberated about the casting. I nearly didn't get a part because LeAnne was of greater worth as a stage manager and they believed that I would be a distraction keeping her from her duties.

Sorry to get distracted here, but I was remembering how I did not have to attend so many rehearsals, so I hid in the catwalk and pretended to be the "Ghost of Hines hall", because I needed to be there anyway cause we started a new group of stupid college kids who sought out ways to scare one another and that night was a trip to the witches cemetery in Michie, TN.

Today's Stargate lesson

I have noticed a trend in watching private lecture sessions. One person will be told something that they disagree with and they are entirely against the thing, but in the next time they are taking the heat for suggesting the thing to others.

The lesson was learned by applying this observation to how I have been taught about supporting an elected official. Interestingly enough the same phenomenon can be observed with siblings. The one they gang up on is the very same one they will not allow anyone else to harm or threaten.

What is possible?

If, Then.

If God is able to do all things, then everything is possible.

It would be more productive to wonder what is needful.

Among the dreams Gavin shared with me were both possibilities, productive and what we might call foolish.
1) He dreamed that he was in the Third grade.
2) He dreamed that he was a flying penguin.

Brain dump

The evolutionary biologist and the likeness of it to the story of corihor and Alma.

Testimony that we are literal children of God.

My thought, no wonder God made it a point to be with the children...

Serving a mission is necessary at a pivotal point in our life.

Thankful for struggles because they remind us of our blessings.

We have a great way of life.

Church History Student manual ought to be read.

The lord answers people in their own,language. 2 NE

LENA is my enemy, I love her.- Gavin Brawner

We all have distraction Out of school must choose to do service or military for 2 years. In Europe they must choose, and this program might have been effected by that, it was piloted in German.

We should follow the prophet, he is very kind about how he says things. Are we as mothers like that?

If a person lead the saints astray he will be removed. Like that guy who told false stories.

Bhudists had a word of wisdom.

Bhudist priest married to a return missionary.

If a prophet is teaching a church, or of a religon it must,be true.

Restoration of Relief Society is a sign of the second coming.

Jesus loved women, so should,we.

Example of be mindful of mother John 20ish.

My thought: RS is a better example of Godliness because it is full of Love.

RS is to help women be prepared for eternal life (this supports my claim that Love is the essential trait to own)

F F S - Faith, Families, Service

As long as you have tissue, you'll be alright.

Is he really talking to me, regarding to the doctors telling her she had cancer. But, it must be like anyone who receives revelation.

RS will be your mother, when you move away. Didn't get to move back out here for 17.

When she moved and had no blood family around. she was alone. So her family literally was the ward.

Extended Family Home Evening to get the whole family involved and learning of eachother.

Memories bind us together. Togetherness is what children really want.

Mother would be reunited with her children.

Sandy gives a loaf of bread and that gets her foot in the door. We can know what to do to serve others. We try to do the same thing that others have been inspired to do for us.

Honestly, what am I thinking?

If someone uses one type of pokemon,fire type for instance no matter how strong, even my weakest water pokemon could wipe them out.

Though typically, I see water as weak, I mean water cannot have a lasting effect like a burn, and it refreshes. But I was thinking it is also malleable and as the wonder twins showed you, you can make almost anything out of water. Though, I doubt any have that option, still, a very deadly weapon could be conjured out of ice. It could rival the sacred sword attack in effectiveness, so water should not only be seen as nice, it also causes a fearful death,of asfixiation by gradual downing or pneumonia.