A significant value

I value choices, but it is two-sided. I also value accountability, and it is high time I show it.

I will no longer try to explain or rationalize what I am doing, though it does fascinate and entertain. The point is one explanation alone feels honest, though less comfortable. I am sure any court would have decided that I was insane, and I would have disagreed, so what. Doesn't every insane person feel justified in their own mind?

There is no other explanation for my behavior and actions. I did try to create a lovely spiderweb to catch all of the millions of little details that could no be easily understood.

But, as time passed, the division grew more pronounced between the correct choice and the choice that fit my story. Frankly, I am tired of trying to live and convince myself of a story, what simply is, must be enough.

When we do something wrong, even my children have been taught the correct answer, you repent. Part of that process is being and saying you are sorry. If you are really sorry then you "bury your weapons". I know that I have erred and.though technically, I was unaccountable, I still feel the effects as much as others had, even if it can be dismissed, the consequences can't and shouldn't be removed.

I value the great gift of making choices that has been given and by saying that I must also say that I appreciate being allowed to have the consequences even if they are hard, so that we may learn. I love to learn.