Music

Sometimes I have to turn everything off because I am getting too much information to handle.

I relisten and watch over and over because I enjoy the feeling that comes from inspiration. But, often true with music, what I understand and what was intended varies greatly. I love how the notion that having ideas fill my mind feels, but music changes and too often, it is just too perfect and could not be intended and it must be chance, no matter how much I enjoy it. It must be acknowledged that it is not as perfect as I see it, and no matter how many times we "share" it. It is unlikely it will ever be received as we felt it or intended. When I was young I just thought it was truth, and like a truth never goes bad, but it is like meat in a freezer, it is captured and stored in a perfect state to be used whenever we need it. Likewise, That was how I explained the success of the Bible and Shakespeare, art can sort of freeze dry ideas that are true and so can be applied regardless of current situation.

Too often, I felt embarrassed to admit that I understood things because surely such things were never intended, but my need to express took the shape of humor or a witty wink like, "I know, but I'll never say." It is like I see the same things as everyone else, so there cannot be any big cosmic joke hidden in plain sight, so winking is not very practical.

Eh, words failed to communicate what my real thought was. I guess I have not been given the go ahead or the talent to express the ideas, but I just get to recognize them. Originally, I used other sounds to say things for me.

I call it music, and I love it. Someday, I will sing it, but not today.