Humility

I have been thinking alot about humility. And although my intent was not to read about it, I
read a chapter I assumed was about faith because it contained the scripture mastery
scripture on faith, Alma 32 ended up being mostly about humility. Also Ardeth Kapp spoke at our RS Birthday party and she cited that chapter as significant during her talk/discussion on testimonies. So, looking for a chapter of great worth to read at bedtime. I chose it, and what I learned was not expected but deserves my careful consideration.

This part of my life is quite crazy In some ways I fully accept that my maturity is only that of a9 yr. old. It has been 9 years since I have relearned to talk, walk, and pretty much live, but I have children some of which are older than that and I am biologically almost 40 years old. my greatest trial generates humility, not because I am being compelled to be such but because I have been asked to sing in church and I want to, but I have to be humble enough to realize that my audience is not desirous to hear a fantastic singer like most of the musicians inn our ward just are and I actually was but admit that that boat has sailed and I struggle just to say things, let alone maintain a pitch.

But,I felt like singing might be one of those opportunities to round out and develop my character. I said that I would do it immediately after a lesson on a talk titled "You Can Do It Now." I was wrestling with the fear of appearing terrible but as I contemplated the things that we were being taught I realized that in asking me to sing they were asking for me to share a talent.my talent is undimmed, it never was singing that was just the preferred method, and my proficiency got the attention *I* wanted. It is not about how good I am. It is about using an opportunity toy advantage to share the testimony I have, so I picked the song "When Faith Endures". It really sums up my existence to this point. I will not fear or doubt, but pray that the spirit will find a way to touch hearts and as far as I know fear and faith cannot exists together. If I desire to have a greater portion of the spirit it cannot be for my personal gain either, for the spirit is a member of the Godhead and no unclean thing can be acceptable to God.

My quest is then not to appear well or impress others as I learned for years to do, but my goal is to bot offend so that no one notices my singing or physical body even, but that the hear the truths that I mean. My rehearsals will therefore be intensive but not regarding my singing as much as scripture study and prayers. Maybe that is one of the reasons my life was spared so that I might be able to learn this great truth and how life changes when it finds a purpose outside ourselves.

I have one more thing to mention. My greatest friend has given me the greatest thing ever. And how, you implore, does it apply? Through realizing that my purpose is not to practice vocal feats, I cited Prayer as my surest tool of preparation. Practice makes perfect. I always said it differently though. Practice makes better but performance makes perfect. So, this is an opportunity to perfect my humility. And, my dearest friend has asked to know the date of my performance so that she can pray for me, How awesome is that? I can imagine no greater gift. It will cross my mind that I have her help and she is a spiritual giant I have no doubt anymore that regardless of my abilities thingswill be good.