I was very cute. I tried to go with the idea that so if I was in the highest percentile, and born "perfect" then it stands to reason that I would only stay in that same spot, instead of moving up, because my illness reset the whole playing field so that I wouldn't have an unfair advantage. I saw a video about how you have to be careful not to attract the wrong type when you are too beautiful. But, that didn't really work for me because no matter I couldn't feel beatuful in the present, only regret that I didn't take advantage of my beauty/talents, not recognizing them until they were gone.
My new idea is that Nothing that really matters is ever lost. Beauty fades so it must not be so important, but I know that if someone is lured by my charm, they will not be disappointed by my looks, because we are taught in the ressurection we will be restored to what we were. I am and ought to be glad that I am so ugly. It sort of keeps me hidden from undesirable people/pressures much as i've gotten over dealing with lost talents. I'm in it for the "Long Run" not just here and now.
No comments:
Post a Comment