technical therapy

That's what I'll call it. I am so stinking mad that I turn to my computer to be like counting when you're a child and when you're done everything's better.

I need to start a new train of thought, so where dsid I write those suggestions of things to read at times like this?

Urrrrgh!

I ought to just go to sleep and never wake up. naw that wouldn't help anything. I'm so mad, I find that holding my tongue, although it helps others, it makes me spit nails and hate things even more than if ijust said them, but so much of what Ithink can never be said, anywhere, but this much I can rant about! right now I abhor Nick! He is a good guy, mind you, I just do not see any redeeming qualities right now. I suppose he grew up letting others make his choices so now he's a useless adult not making any choice unless compelled, and I suppose I could do that, but I'mnot interested. I do not want another child! I want a companion. I wrote to him and even told him multiple times the things I wanted to do today, but I will not make any definate plans until I speak with him. But he goes and plays video games so I continue taking care ofthe children and just wait for him to decide to stop neglecting us and his responsibilities. They aren't duties that I give so I do not want to be his master, "be ye Equally yoked" not "yeild a big whip."

I disturbed his game and told him something that needed to be done, but he went upstairs to play a different game. I suppose my hopes of going to SLC are gone, too. If he does have some plan he doesn't tell me anything, then aain, he never does.

My back is crippiling me today!

And like in Family home evening, we only have it if "I" say so, but I asked for that and that alone for a mother's day gift, oh well. And Prayers which are to be presided over by him, he doesn't even assign anyone. Like I said, he is good, he just needs to be told what to do and I'm not interested. Maybe I'll make an ad for him.... lol yeh, that will lift my spirits.