Brain dump

Are you sleeping through the restoration?

Many reasons, selfish.

Some little acts of caring and kindness make a huge differece.

What am I not doing that I should be doing? or vice versa.

Balance of service and being served. It is harder to be service.

Mission was like a bubble that wad hard to leave. It was Zion where people were of one heart and mind.

We learn that most important or needed things are not numerous... Basically, just our families, included our ward family.

Brigham Young was most worried that the saints would become affluent and fall. (Like nephites)

Story of woman and chance to explain baptism for the dead and that those people were not on the records of our church. That mis conception was lost.

If you wonder if God visited Joseph Smith, ask him. He was there.

Our spouses deserve the best.

Anxious for the 2nd comming.

Too many distractions in life, but mission is possible for everyone, and in mission we get to refocus on what matters.

Even in church service we can get distracted.

80% of Navoo visitors are LDS.

Gardening is enjoyable as a missionary you get to plant many seeds.

Our most prized possesion is our testimony. And so that is one of the best gifts we can nurture in others.

Sunday School - when we are away from our family it clarifies what is important to us.

Like in times of war, we have comfort in knowing family is eternal.

Of all titles those of "Mom" or "Dad" are more important.

Proclamation on the family.

Children Imprint on their mother.

Devil knows that we need to be sealed eternally and will try to thwart it.

Motherhood is not given to everyone, but each can be achieve if we are worthy.

Every prophet has said that we will  have a blessing we deserve.

We conciously love and respect others when they are around us, even if we are not naturally thoughtful.

Contention when things are  more yours than ours.

When you serve others we love them. That might work to unite family members.

How do you know you are loved?

FHE - tell children how we feel about them. Let them talk. Maybe go see a film at the Joseph Smith building.

Friends come and go, but our family is forever.

Make best friends out of children.

What can husbands and wives do to make eachother happy.

Compliments, strive to remember and show their worth.

Give 100% all of the time, 50% will not work.

Express feelings by serving. Life goes smoothly.

Listen to others.

You can take your children to do baptisms.

Church exists to bless the family. Difference in purpose, bit same on power.

Relief Society -

Meet the Mormons movie share it from church site and invite to others. Proceeds donated to charity.
It will be shown at visitors center.

Fun things to do, at ward fair upcoming.

Thank you for service from our ward.

Shower for a sister who is investigating.

Think of trial, then review the things we are thankful for and it will help us.

Pains during fasting are blessings for the person who it is an object of the fast.

We do not appreciate things until after trial so we ought to be grateful.

***being grateful has always been easy for me and we are blessed with peace which I have been told will be obvious to others***

Commandments sometimes because people will not get a needed blessing any other way.

Soon a sense we are commanded to be satisfied with what we have.

Mother has terminal cancer, but focuses on what she could do for others.

Cinderella, dream is a wish your heart makes, despite being forced to do all of these things, but she had peace because of her attitude.

We can keep anything we thanked God for the previous day.

Positive attitude through trial is thought by the world to be denial.

I know what the Lord thinks is right, now, and although thpat is not what I wanted, and such, b

Carl Sagan

I felt the need to record a thing that happened years ago unless I am unable to pass it on.

I felt the overwhelming sense of "This is where I belong" when we were watching a video by Carl Sagan in Dahlonega, GA. I was at an Engineering Camp, and had recently written about a dreamy sort of thing that I had trouble putting in words, so I used poetry. The poem was about enlightened
Grains of sand gathering on a distant shore. As I watched that video and worked on my low temperature physics paper, I kept feeling so happy that I was there. There was a place where I could belong. I loved being surrounded by information and thoughts. I was too young to worry about other needs.

Later, I felt that way again, at the temple dedication. Uh, but this time I was aware of a missing thing. I was alone. Being alone is not part of my goal, I wrote a song about it called, "Be Free" in it I sing that "for once in my life, I want to belong... Be long with you" That is my potential and I am going to ask for it.

I have to realize that, although heard, answers come in least expected ways and times. But, I will be heard and if my experience at that Engineer Camp was any indication, a fufilling forever is worth waiting for.

Ogden stuff

Alright, you missed it, huh? Never fear I will try to give you something to have gotten from it. But, you are as bad as my 4 yr. old who kept asking what everything was for. I loved it, the presentation was so artistic, it was really about what you felt or thought, not much was said, so it left you to get what you will from it, and likely it will be what it was that you needed, which is why you really ought to have seen it for yourself!

I will not say much outside of light. My son kept asking things, so I passed on what my brothers always said to me, "you look like medusa", no, not that, "just watch and see for yourself." I expained that I could tell him what I learned, but that God would give him his own message if he listens. He made some brilliant observations. It is exciting to think of what he will "get" from temple attendance and symbolism. It was impressive to me how incredible it is when things are communicated even without words. Though, I am not referring to romantic love, the song "silence speaks your name" comes to mind.

As I taught my children how to learn my own mind was opened. I told them to keep asking questions, but do not say them outloud and answer them privately, too.

Adult education (seriously that is what they are calling it)

Teacher may be inept, or even be academic, but the spirit teaches.

A guy said he does not like CES cause they teach centered stuff.

A friend said, "Yeah, you're right. You're not very intellectual."

Reminds me of the story from Seminary about Brigham Young telling about Eliazar Miller bearing his testimony.

Favorite commentary on Isaiah "Understanding Isaiah" it is yours. His policy is if you had a book for ten years and did not read it you likely won't so get rid of it."

Main point of Job is found in many other scriptures (less poetic) God is all powerful and all wise.

A guy who did not get doctorate cause prefered to be called master instead of Doctor.

He loves president Faust, too. One time pres. Faust asked him to sit by him to be is friend. Fausts talk in 2004 on Job.

God will consecrate your afflictions for your good.

Just need someone to step forward and say they are sorry.

Brigham Young said, "Every trial and experience you have assessing through is necessary for your salvation."

King Rehoboam will tax so his thumb will be as thick as his father's thigh. A good saying that basically...

Not all scriptures are created equally.

"... For Satan is a broad."

All scriptures are patterns. We learn more from what we discover than we are taught.

Scholars say 3 different Isaiahs.
But, we know it was compiled before 590bc so that is irrefutably the only.

Reading scriptures is not scholarly but a love affair with the word of God. Good thing for a prohet to love.

We are commanded to read Isaiah in 3rd Nephi.

Children's Shows

It is still legislated as much as possible, and by the underground mother networks, that Television usage ought to be minimized. Really? Claims are that it ought not be a surrogate parent. Yet, I find that the things children get from tv use is so much better than reality. Admittedly, it takes a village, and due to external nudges the children learn and teach me such valuable truths via forced redundancy of "Children's Programs". Personally, I will go out on a limb alone and say that I approve of using tv to provide a venue for the mind to develop. Ofcourse, we always lie and in interviews claim that our children only watch a minimal ammount of TV.

I do not feel this replaces me as a parent, but it enforces everything I teach, giving place holders and examples for a growing acceptance of truth.

An example is our last Family Home Evening. The children, Joseph, 4 and Mary Anne, 3, love it so much! Because we use tools they already love to convey our lessons. Last week, we taught of the value of Family Histories, by telling them stories of when we were young children. Then, our activity/game included favorite videos of their own personal history, which they loved soooo much, and days later, they still talk about and review significant things from their past because it was on video. I think this is because they esteem their TV so much that to see themselves was soooo impressive. I think they would do anything to get to be on TV.

(Insert comment on journal based movies)

When my siblings were little, I used to use songs to teach them everything. I wrote songs for each address and phone number, which I still recall to this day. And that has so much worth, but as each child is different. I see that effecting Mary Anne more. She loves to learn a song. But, Joseph is like a sponge when it comes to absorbing things taught in a video from vocabulary to basic social skills.

I have learned so much from watching and rewatching and reading about his favorite Carachters. They generate a Passion in him that I could not muster.  One example of his regard for other personalities is a guy who makes kid friendly videos. His accent is quite different from ours and we find Joseph saying things like this guy when we constantly correct him. It is easier to work with what he observes than correct him, so it is important to monitor what is allowed to go in. But, who wouldn't prefer to live in a TV world? I pick Mr. Kangaroo or Mickey Mouse Clubhouse.

At bedtime a favorite is Beatrice Potter, which I found videos of online, and he loves those so much cause he already knew them. I think that is why kids like repitition. I noticed when we went gps Temple Open House how a totally new place felt like home to them when they excitedly pointed out familiar paintings. "Jesus has that picture in his house, too!", Mary observed. Also, I noticed how you can forget where you are (townwise) in a Wap-mart cause they are set up the same (or should be). Once, Dad went in the women's restroom cause the Walmart stores has reversed the location of men and women's restrooms in two frequently visited stores. This I getting long winded and off track, lol Thomas The Tank Engine reverie was how this all started. Well, that and a comment years ago about how a song was written to a chick on a TV show... Sorta.

The Giver

I rewatched this movie multiple times to be sure I was recieving all truths I needed. One overarching realization struck me. Though, things were good, ideal even, life was missing the most important quality of life, Love. Even family ought to be centered on this. Likely, it was the same thing that drew me so curious to the family life on Thor 2.

Sure, I freely admit a society based on other truths worked, and I regard cerebralism, but even in this working model, the most important things, and crowning realizations are never made.

The hero feels and accordinly makes a huge personal sacrifice, though never actually asked. The reciever not only gets, but reflects and deems love, though it also causes pain and suffering, to be worth sacrificing all that actually was ideal so that others might realize it.

This had been the thing I wondered at all along. Hadn't I been taught that any relationship would work? It just felt wrong. Surely, not any ought to be my head for eternity. It was far too serious an issue. I could contrast the way I felt for my children. That was pure love, and my doubt continues to surface regarding my companion.

I grew up watching movies like "Princess Bride" where true love is seen as a very rare comodity, one I am not likely to find, so love was not an attribute I looked for or even regarded. But, in Sunday School, someone brilliantly suggested that it was actually the only commandment we are given. If we honestly love, we desire everything we are commanded, it seems as if, to me, it was known that we,would fail to see the importance of love, so we would need to be commanded in all things.

So, the concluding revelation yesterday was that God has never, nor will he ever compel us. Obedience is the gift we may give. We will want to give it if we love. So, in a sense love is the key to freedom, because it is said exact obedience is the key to Freedom. Men are free to choose, true, but when we do so out of love we no longer need the bridle to steer us and we are trusted and free.

In the movie, people seem to be free, but they are constantly monitored and even their clothing is assigned to produce sameness or equality. I do not think we can love without being able to distinguish.

Brain dump

Stake business. Single adult callings.

This Sunday at the stake center.
10 require temple reccommend. Yellow ticket, 1 hour beforehand.

Next Sat. 7pm at snow creek bldg. Or stake center. Not only for us, but for the world.

I tried not to smile during sac but kept thinking about the comment "let me get this right, God made us all, which includes the baker. The baker made the bread, which becomes the body of Christ."

Elder Perry is Oldest, but you cannot tell.

How can you know if you are doing things right. We might be ok once, but how do we know that we have continued to make correct choices?

You can use a bridle to guide and steer the horse.

Bits are small in the mouth, but it turns the whole animal.

The Holy Ghost is the bit and BC is the one who guides and Lord drives.

Blind obedience, not so. It is an emblem of our faith, like Abraham sacrificing Isaac. He will save us when we stop fighting.

Strangley enough obedience is the key to freedom.

Do not complain!!

Only flaw is that they do not know where to find the truth...

124 reminds me of the giver "The hour is hastening on when we shall be forever with the Lord when disappointment, grief, and pain are gone

Choice generation means they have many choices, which require a lot of responsibility.

What we desire and think about most will form who we become.

Knowing who you are makes choices easier.

If you Chase two rabbits you will not catch either.

Obedience is indicator of maturity.

Law can be simplified to Love.

Each of us will be given a trial as difficult for us as the story of Ambraham and Isaac.

If Abraham had a child as a result of obeying God. So, he trusted that he would still have seed, if he obeyed.

****God will never, nor has he forced or compelled us to choose what is right. Not in the pre existance. (Hey, I get the chance to prove again that sympathy will not be my downfall)

Joseph family could use prayers, Armstrong had emergency apendectemy.

RS - need 100 soaps left. Julie Cunningham collecting items.

Come today and get produce wilkinson.

Vocal cord surgery? Good idea, talk to Loreta Bowden's daughter.

Elijah had the priestood power over many things, like elements and sealing power that was restored to Joseph Smith.

Friday 6 - 7 evening work to prepare outside of Stake Center for the Temple dedication.

Story of mother who may not progress any more unless work is done in the flesh.

We are allowing people to gain all that they are prepared for.

We cannot think that we will never go astray thinking our testimony is strong enough.

Serving in the church is a labor of love as love is our payment.

Ancestors moved by spirit of Elijah to record Important dates and such, to them in the temple.

People feel an uncontrolable desire to link our families.

Can anyone explain the Links?

Decorating graves helps know about family.

FHE lesson where just hear stories of family. Kids like to hear their history.

C.S. Lewis

There is but one good; that is God. Everything else is good when it looks to Him and bad when it turns from Him.

C.S. Lewis, The Great Divorce

ye cannot in your present state understand eternity...That is what mortals misunderstand. They say of some temporal suffering, "No future bliss can make up for it," not knowing that Heaven, once attained, will work backwards and turn even that agony into a glory. And of some sinful pleasure they say "Let me have but this and I'll take the consequences": little dreaming how damnation will spread back and back into their past and contaminate the pleasure of the sin. Both processes begin even before death. The good man's past begins to change so that his forgiven sins and remembered sorrows take on the quality of Heaven: the bad man's past already conforms to his badness and is filled only with dreariness. And that is why...the Blessed will say "We have never lived anywhere except in Heaven, : and the Lost, "We were always in Hell." And both will speak truly.

A bit of reminder

Last Sunday, our lesson was on Talents and our teacher made a particularly profound comment. She reminded us that our Bishop is inspired when he calls us to positions, and his source is our Father in Heaven and He knows our talents and asks us to do things that are suited to our talents even if it us in no way appearant to us. Often I hear people claim that they were the least suited to do a thing.

I have been asked to lead music and though it is a thing I ought to be perfectly suited for, I cannot sing. Hmmm, but, it is largely due to my willingness to serve regardless that I sort of "earned" a miracle.

We are given weaknesses to make them strong, and in this case it was a leap to believe that I would be able to see this set back as a blessing and accept the opportunity to serve in this capacity that my talent might be strenthened.

So, it is a reminder that singing is in fact one of my talents, though less obvious right now.

Josh Groban - You're Still You: http://youtu.be/fTady0w6dZ0

(All of this is like the warm up exercise in drama club of anunciating without the use of our tongues. It is humiliating and sounds terrible, but it is by trying to do without that we realize how much easier it is with.)

As a young adult working in the Southcenter Mall in Tukwilla, I was a rover and given tideous tasks that others did not like to do. To earn more, one preferred to use the cash register to earn a greater commission. I was always asked to go clean out the dressing rooms, which was seen as tideous and tiresome. In disguise, it was so helpful! It afforded me a better grasp of what and where everything in our inventory was located. I ended up earning more commission because I was better suited to actually aid customers who were serious about what they wanted and paying, etc. Though I had fewer times at the cash register, I made larger sales and established a better repoire with customers who upon returning would ask for me by name. I was placed permanently in that department and offered first each opportunity that arose.

My experience reminded me that I was in fact a descendent of the same Joseph who was blessed to be sold into Egypt by his brothers.

Brain dump

Though I have attended the temple for years. I still do not understand everything, but I know that I feel a certain way.

It is always best to take some time to pray in the peacefulness of the Celestial room. He felt good about it, and Isn't that the ultimate goal? To feel healed and good...

So grateful to go to the navoo temple, got to see pagents and the jail.

Bishop is always there to talk to.

Try to thank the Lord everyday for his atonement.

What do we live for if not to make lives a bit easier? (Look up George Elliot)

Can you make the Lord smile?

I hope to someday understand the atonement more fully.

"Why? Isn't my atonement enough?" Asks the Savior when we beat ourselves up over our mistakes.

It is through the atonement that we can even hope to return to God.

Regardless what happens or is said, the church was restored through Joseph Smith, who was a prophet.

I honestly do not know how I helped, because all we did is talk about heavy metal and star wars but at times all we need to do is show love and support.

We need not tell people what we believe, but we ought to show them.

Like going to the temple we do not even tell others, it will shape who we are.

Sunday School lesson - Developing Our Talents.

Singing is allowed if it is "happy birthday" if he starts it in the key he chooses.

Think of a talent a person in class has. then, name a talent that we have.

We can develop talents that we don't have. We have a responsibility to develop our talent.

We don't always know what our talents are and we can ask others.

If we recognize that we have weaknesses we can through faith be blessed to be able to turn it into a strength. (Ether 12:27)

How much time do you put in, it actually is not God given.

Bishop knows talents that we have been given. So he accordingly gives us calls.

A challenge can be taken and in a year be able to develop a talent, so maybe I ought to pick what talent I feel the Lord wants me to develop, and then trust it.

Story of Del Parsons being commissioned and he finally submitted a work that had criticisns and they were used to create a masterpiece.

Our talents/gifts should be used to help others.

Satan does not want us to try. But, he will try to stiffle us.

Talk that was given about desiring to help children be molded and Pres. Eyring prayed to know how to best help his child reach their potential.

Story of shy child who he carved a lion of and the child realized that potential within himself and became not shy.

Girls were given a bread board and taught to make bread for others.

As parents we see the potential in our children, just as our father in heaven.

We all desire to create.so do it, no specific talent is required. We have a boundless potential because our Father is a master creator just look around yourself.

Don't let the voice of others criticize you.

Relief Society -

Missionary work. Hastening the work.

Sister Joseph is so beautiful!!! It is very hard to prepare a child to go and even harder to let them go.

Curfew for children. They try to get to stay out longer, but must be firm and there was fighting.

Story about guy and violin in Lousiana.

Take name tag to the temple.

They go as boys, but come home as men, that change happens in 3 months. 

Buy in 100% or get out. It helped them go to state not because of talent, but commenttary.

Buys all of field because not sure where the treasure is, it is in the middle of the field.

Evidence of maturity shown in letters, not as much a travelog, but more testimony.

It seems to me, that when you have a testimony you tell it when ever you can.

If I don't get them here, my brother will get them on the otherside.

This life is not the end.

"If I didn't want to go on a mission, I wouldn't."

Good idea of sending scripture to a life saver. Brilliant, scriptures are life savers. Can I send some to Lindsay, Lacy, mom and Dad.

Tattered shoes were kept and bronzed. To remind us of how dedicated we must be.

Her own son's shoes were kept. He had pnumonia but continued on to the end.

Saturday night

As always. I am going through an ultimate low. I know that I cannot cease to exsit but, I am just so exhausted that I need a break from everything. I am contemplating what would the consequence be if I just quit. I am tired of fighting so hard all of the time for things that ought to just be. Like my gait. I collaspsed on the couch and thought for some reason I have to fight just to do normal things like others. For example, to just sit, walk, or watch kids requires enormous amounts of energy. I cannot say why I even want to do these things anyway, but I do, but what if I just stopped trying? It makes me start to ask myself what do I want ideally to happen. I do not want things to be easy, and if I were my idea of beatiful, then what? So stinking what? I have the ability to get everything I said was valuable to me, but I am not content.

It seems like I am just too proud to just say, "Hey, I was wrong and this Isn't going to work. Help me." Cause, I still fully believe that it could and it will, so I think of a song, "Don't stop here..."

But, seriously, lately I am noticing how close people are coming to the recognition of things, but they do not realize how things really are. So close yet so far...

I think probably previous couples might have felt just as I do. I have done the best I can as I make terrible choices, but, I see now that my idea of what was right was not right. It is not right to fix up and recycle a bad thing expecting it to be good, but if I were wise once I recognized an error, I should have repented and started over and do better if not perfect instead of trying to mask things by making them seem good hoping they would become as expected.
I am sleepy.

Emoting

A thing that has never left my mind as I have watched performances and people speaking in you tube videos, they hold still. It reminds me of the time my piano teacher put a back pack on my back full of book and told me to see if I could play without moving. I noticed Brooksie kept moving too much when I was trying to make a video of her to but on a slice of bread, and it left an impression on me.

I know that I have been told certain things to avoid when speaking in public, like visual aides (beyond commonly used ones)and to not use my arms, or hands to make gestures. This is not hard for me. It is like in a class we were talking about tithing and someone explained that certain things are just easier for others and tithing was never a sacrifice for him, even when he had very little, just just was not a thing hard to do, if asked, he would do it. End of story. I think the same is true for me with regards to not using hands or gestures to speak. I bet it is a real challenge for others, but my difficulty is likely of no consequence to other and so it is never addressed.

I normally move as I speak. In fact, when I talk on the phone, not only do I nod my head and such, but I pace. I tend to loose the signal like that and drive others crazy. It is not uncommon to be told to "sit down!" cell phones in the car? um, not likely for me. Also when I talk on video I notice that I move or make incorrect expressions. My best friend took a class on Nonverbal communication and noted that I often say something entirely different than what my words say. Oh great? I hope it is not a for of duplicity or dishonesty. No one ever taught me the accepted mannerisms or any mannerisms meaning, besides one I often do, folding my arms. To me it does not mean at all what it seems to be communicating.

Most musicians do it, perhaps not the ones trained to be on video, but in an orchestra or symphonic group I see others do it, too. That is not an excuse, but a note that I am not alone. It is called "Emoting". But my Piano instructor saw it as something that distracted. though music is aural, we have eyes. I am going to try to not move as much in my future posts, though it will be hard for me.