breakthrough!

This time, the lesson was actually learned. So many ideas come to my mind, and I get frustrated because I forget them too quickly. This idea was like that one which many times enlightening my mind then fickered away. Such ideas felt so good (instant flash to FF) and my blog was an attempt at capturing such ideas before they escaped. This time, the idea attached itself so firmly to so many things that it stayed. And, just now I am remembering occasions where such "illuminations" were hintingb at something too secret to share, but I definately will share the rest.

The first significant illumination was when I imagined a visual representation of what is Biblically reffered to as Jacob's ladder. I was thinking about how every one of us was on different rungs of that ladder, so what really mattered was the destination not the progress. I forgot it though because it unearthed questions that I was not ready to answer yet, like the role of religion.

Then, today, I read this:

I arrived at the address and honked the horn. After waiting a few minutes I honked again. Since this was going to be my last ride of my shift I thought about just driving away, but inst ead I put the car in park and walked up to the door and knocked.. 'Just a minute', answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor.

After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 90's stood before me. She was wearing a print dress and a pillbox hat with a veil pinned on it, like somebody out of a 1940's movie.

By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets.

There were no clocks on the walls, no knickknacks or utensils on the counters. In the corner was a cardboard box filled with photos and glassware.

'Would you carry my bag out to the car?' she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, then returned to assist the woman.

She took my arm and we walked slowly toward the curb.

She kept thanking me for my kindness. 'It's nothing', I told her.. 'I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother to be treated.'

'Oh, you're such a good boy, she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address and then asked, 'Could you drive through downtown?'

'It's not the shortest way,' I answered quickly..

'Oh, I don't mind,' she said. 'I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice.

I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. 'I don't have any family left,' she continued in a soft voice..'The doctor says I don't have very long.' I quietly reached over and shut off the meter.

'What route would you like me to take?' I asked.

For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator.

We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.

Sometimes she'd ask me to slow in front of a particular building or corner and would sit staring into the darkness, saying nothing.

As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, 'I'm tired.Let's go now'. We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a small convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico.

Two orderlies came out to the cab as soon as we pulled up. They were solicitous and intent, watching her every move. They must have been expecting her.

I opened the trunk and took the small suitcase to the door. The woman was already seated in a wheelchair.

'How much do I owe you?' She asked, reaching into her purse.

'Nothing,' I said

'You have to make a living,' she answered.

'There are other passengers,' I responded.

Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug.She held onto me tightly.

'You gave an old woman a little moment of joy,' she said. 'Thank you.'

I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light.. Behind me, a door shut.It was the sound of the closing of a life..

I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day,I could hardly talk.What if that woman had gotten an angry driver,or one who was impatient to end his shift? What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, then driven away?

On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life.

We're conditioned to think that our lives revolve around great moments.

But great moments often catch us unaware-beautifully wrapped in what others may consider a small one.

This recalled a similar impression I had while watching a documentary that loving others is the most important thing we can do in this life, nothing else really matters much, it is all just distraction. I was so completely transfixed by this idea that I had to turn it off and do what I knew to do to keep myself from recieving more than I could bear. I wanted to pray.

In my prayer I asked to understand the role of religon in it all. and the first pat of my answer was that hadn't I learned by my religon to pray in the first place? Oh yeah! If our religons fail to help us to love one aother then they have failed, too. There is really only two ways to think, like a ladder, towards or away from the goal. Alot of religons capture people and use what captures them to mingle, if you will, the ideas they believe are true, with other teachings used to get gain. There have been a lot of examples of this throughout history. I particularly liked scenes from "The Season of the Witch".

As to why their are so many paths leading to the same place, it is because God loves us so much and appreciates our uniqueness. He has given a man a vision (Lehi's Dream) where he does explain the most sure way, and assures us that if we hold on to the rod (Word of God) of Iron, that it leads us on that path when we cannot see (we cannot dispute the importance of sight in such a situation). So, we claim that our faith is the most correct, and that others are correct, too. Sticking with that glorious dream, it seems that even after being guided entirely the right way we can still fail after we have even tasted of the most desirable of fruit.

God uses trees alot in his communications with man. I think there is a

significance to this. Like even in the garden of Eden or the use of

Olive trees.

So, we see that things have littered our way to be distractions to us (like sex instead of Love), this lesson was forcefully taught to me at a youth conference in Mississippi where church leaders and other people we trusted were leading us to do other things that seemed good, but wouldn't help us in the end.

Side track, got to go show some of that love to my screaming children. I cannot concentrate right now, but I wanted to tell someone. That is why I love Jesus Christ so much and his gspel is called the gospel or "good news".