I have something else first

I was thinking about something in words yeserday, but my computer wouldn't connect to the internet, but I figured it out, silly. I'm not as dumb as you think.

I made a video, too:


September 20 2012 I learned the best lesson tonight from Stargate Atlantis. Strange that it never occurred to me before. The Episode was in SEason 3 named Irresponsible. The town was protected by a man with super powers, which were seen to have been yet another way for Lucious to decieve other, though he felt he was being honest.

The realization I had did not happen while I was watching the show it was afterwards when I was thinking about why I could actually stand that episode ands bear to watch it now. I was thinking alot about a woman's speech about how the people of the town needed to stand up for themselves instead of waiting around for Lucious to save them, because by so doing they were loosin the very thing they sought to protect, their freedom. Independance is what is lost when we rely on another for protection. I started thinking about husbands and making a big comparison there. Then, Licious chimes in and tells the woman not to take it too far, so I thought that fit in perfectly with what I was thinking regarding the whole feminism thing.

Ok, my big realization was that I was sitting around, feeling like I needed to be rescued and even praying for something to be orchestrated, somehow. I realized that the reasonI wasn't acting for myself is because I was placing faith in something, or more to the point someone, but we are taught that when our faith is in correct thingsa it becomes active. It s not about waiting around for that or even hoping for that, that is why nothing is ever going to become of it.

I woke up thinking about someone else, but that wasn't the solution, then, another chance encounter happened and I realized that my answer is that I ought to rely on noone, that is why I failed each time. I need to become active and find more that I can do an hope for something or someone who isn't specific. I have been taught that it is the point that we give up entirely that we recognize the true power of God. I was looking for it only in the wrong places. God is no respecter of persons.

The way I see it, I will only be married in the temple, no other way will do what I need eternally, So that limits me to people who are able to take me to the temple, I ought not even concern myself with those who could if motivated enough.

So, what am I going to do? nothing, as I was reading a bible story to Joseph. It was clear that he needed my upbringing. It will be the most significant thing in his life, my life will have to revlve around that for a while. I need to discuss this with Nick, that simply, needs to be done.