the problem with obedience

If you do something because you are told it doesn't have the same effect and that is the trouble with obedience. I am learning it firsthand. Those around me seemed afflicted because they lacked an obedient husband, so I vauled it more than I should have. If I told my husband to say or do something, he would but, that sort of ruins his opportuity to do it*. Let me explain. There are a number of things that I wish that my husband would do, but more importantly I wish that he had just once even expressed to me how he felt about me, but he covered his butt by saying that it is too hard to talk to me, so he never tried. One would then assume such obstacles were overcome for him to be obedient and tell me that he does in fact love me. But, that sort of ruins it, he wins points for obedience but my heart still feels empty.

Conclusion: I am not a canumdrum (sp?) wanting something unreal because I got what I wanted and am not pleased. I got what I asked for, but I have realized that what I want is for someone who is obedient AND is "On the same page". Nothing needs to be said, because both want the same thing. It is just a symptom, not the problem, to over communicate.

Nick's step mother said it wonderfully when she was dating his father. He asked her what she wanted. Something generally seen as good sign, >>>>He wants to please you!!!<<< Then, she said, "I want someone to do (list of good things) with me." He said "Oh, well, I can do that!" Then, she explained that he just didn't get it. He needs to want to do those things for himself, not because she asked. Ah hah! that is exactly what men complain about women wanting mind readers, really they just want someone who thinks like them. "What does it mater who you marry if he is a good Southerner and thinks like you." -Gone With the Wind

*my solution is just be patient and let him do things on his own time frame. It sounds good, but isn't working out so well for me. I know that we have the same goal, but I sort of feel damned and unable to move forward because we must be together. "being with me musta damn near killed you." Thanks Nickelback.

Once your choice has been made just trust that it wil be worth it to endure, but trust me, if you are having doubts go! I feel like Sarah from "Dead Zone" saying that, giving advice that I hypocritically am not living. But, you can know what is best and so advise others without doing it, It's not hypocritical.