Ok, I have a gripe, but it seems common

And dooable. I can blame the trouble that most relationships endure is maturity. When a couple meets a totally different mindset is present than the one that develops with increased responsibilities. Now, like social security. Problems are that as we mature our priorities are entirely different, much as our bodies. It used to be that no one lived as long so things were more dire. But, now, as people change they decide that the transformation would include another person. It is almost accepted now that a person is only a good spouse for that time in your life. I can see beyond that. I thought I was being so wise to skip the first part and marry someone that I did not love but, would be a good provider and father, but then, as he fails at that, what else do I have to fall back on? Typical advice reminds you to think back to what you got married for and try to rekindle that zeal. For me, I feel good anytime My husband cares for the family, and I did not consider Forever was what I ought to have been looking for, He has proved that he is not going to seal himself to me, but, that's fine cause I don't want to be with him either, but I just am confused, so i need to rely on God.

I am not confused as to what is important to me, but I never have been. Ultimately, I did not commit suicide or die when I had plenty of chance and opportunity. I think sometimes that If I didn't believe what I do then I would just die and not have any fear of retribution, but I do. I feel like i lost alot, but not what mattered most to me, and the thing that drives me on to a greatness that is not mortal. Maybe I never fit in because I just don't.

Likewise, if it was the will of God, I would not need any other reason. I think my children are that important. To me, they are sort of the will of God, watching over them and protecting them.

I do not think it is unheard of for women to be unhappy with their choice of companion. And I am not so different except that I will not say anything and try to live happily and find peace somehow. It works to want a thing for long enough until it changes your heart. I used to be upset and nearly heart sick about my figure and I wanted more than anything to be the most beautiful woman alive.