Something like this...

I just got the same idea that I had this morning, but forgot about it when I got around to it, but hopehully, i'll be able to remeber it entirely, now.

I was thinking about last night how shocked Nick was that he was asked if he was next. but, I had just told him that it was common practice that spouses renew their recommend at the same time and on the month of their aniversary. So they would not forget, assuming they wouldn't forget their wedding anniversary. But anyway in my interview at one point as we were discussing my "story" he asked if I was sealed to my new husband. I am not. That gave me alot to think about.

I thought a whole lot about the differences and similarities of my two marriages. Both were done sort of as an after the fact, and not as such a big day. neither officially proposed to me anyway, it was just a sort of understanding that that was our purpose.

Now the biggest difference to me is the "oneness". When I married Brandall, it was a novel thing that I had planned all of my life it was the whole "fall in love and live happily ever after" type thing. I let my feelings be known on every account. I very carefully tried to be completely honest with him at all times and never go to sleep with an unresolved issue. After we were married there was no "mine" and "his" everything was just"ours" making the divorce so traumatic. I tried yto figure out what went wrong, buy grew tired of coming up for air with nothing. I never had any sort of closure.

This has never happened with Nick and I and it is hypocritical of me to want him to make me want to be with him when I am not doing anything to encourage unity. I am very much in love with the chilfdren though and know that they deserve a mother who will do what is right no matter what the world teaches is right. That has been the real motivation behind getting to the temple. I need to speak candidly to the Lord about this matter and respect whatever he thinks is requisite. So, there you have it,in complete honesty from me...Come what may.